Your Guide to Self-Care at Christmas as a Single Parent
When you’re parenting solo, make sure you’re caring for yourself during the holidays.
Most survivors can attest that parenting solo is much easier than trying to parent under the same roof as the narcissist. Many of us were married single parents, anyone else relate?
But the holidays can be lonely when it’s just you and your kids. Especially if you don’t have a supportive community.
Practicing self-care can help you stay present, grounded, and maybe even experience some joy this holiday season.
I Have No Time For Myself as a Single Parent - How Can I Practice Self-Care During the Busiest Time of the Year?
When you’re the primary parent, juggling work, parenting, court preparation, and trauma, it can feel impossible to add self-care to the already-long to-do list.
Sometimes our self-care routines have to be bare bones and efficient in order to meet our needs, with our limited time.
If you are already running out of time in the day to accomplish your many tasks, consider these basic self-care tips:
Focus your self-care on nutrition, hydration, and rest. Focusing on these three basic necessities can help you have the fuel you need to be present for your kids and strategic in the courtroom.
Ask for help. If you don’t have a supportive community to take some of your workload off your plate, consider asking family and friends to gift you meal deliveries, vouchers for house cleanings, or babysitter funds.
Involve your children in your self-care routine. If you truly don’t have the capacity to step away from parenting, invite your kids into a space of self-care and compassion. Explain that everyone needs time to care for themselves, and that you’re teaching them how to practice self-care.
Take Advantage of the Quiet Moments. When you had a newborn, did you get the advice to “sleep while the baby sleeps”? When you experience quiet moments, use them to recharge rather than to catch up. Messy houses can be cleaned. But your physical and mental health deserve careful, intentional, consistent attention and support. Quiet moments, even if they last thirty seconds, can be a saving grace if you use them to practice intentional deep breathing, mindfulness, and gratitude.
The holiday season is already difficult for so many, with less sunlight, more demands, and painful triggers. For single parents trying to meet needs and fulfill hopes of a magical season, it can be even more difficult. Please offer yourself grace and patience - and keep hope alive in your heart.
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The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. You can read more about me here.
