Divorcing a Narcissist? Three FREE Gifts to Give Yourself

When finances are tight and stress is high, consider offering yourself these 3 gifts as a survivor of narcissistic abuse. 

For many survivors on the battlefield, the holidays won’t be brimming with abundance, joy, gifts and wrapping paper. In fact, for many protective parents, simply being present with the children takes massive amounts of energy. Many of us are operating in survival mode.

These 3 gifts cost nothing, and may give you the boost you deserve during this difficult season. 

Offer Yourself the Gift of Self-Compassion

Survivors are often deeply critical of themselves and their parenting capacity. Narcissistic abuse can condition us to question our intentions and actions, in an endless loop of self-criticism and judgment. 

When you offer yourself the gift of self-compassion, you are giving yourself grace to show up imperfectly. You are forgiving yourself for mistakes and unhealthy patterns. You’re choosing to understand yourself, and care for yourself in an authentic way. 

Offer Yourself the Gift of Rest

When you’re in the thick of trauma, deep, restful sleep may not be a reality.

Please give yourself time to lie or sit down, close your eyes, and simply breathe. Sleep deprivation, stress, and trauma exhaust our bodies, causing fatigue and even physical illness.

The value of the gift of rest cannot be underestimated.

Offer Yourself the Gift of Hope

Hope can be painful when you have experienced traumatic disappointment.

But I challenge you to consider venturing into the space of “hope” and dwelling there for a bit. Optimism and gratitude go a long way in pulling us out of anxious loops and vortexes of rumination. 

The holidays may not yield glamorous gifts or picture-perfect moments, but as you offer yourself simple gifts that tend to your mental and emotional health, you’re creating space for mental presence, joy, and authentic connections.

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The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.

About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,”  I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. You can read more about me here.