Why Can’t I Feel Happy or Relieved When Something “Good” Happens In My Child Custody Case?

Many protective parents can’t quite access relief or joy when greater safety is achieved in their child custody battle. This may help you understand why. 

So many protective parents express frustration with themselves for feeling emotionally blocked or unable to express gratitude or joy when things go right in their custody battle.

I remember posting about my own emotional block when my girls were finally safe. I didn’t cry or crumple to the ground. In fact, I walked around in a state of dazed confusion until I was able to spend some intentional time working through the block. 

Narcissistic Abuse Conditions Victims to Anticipate Trauma

If you’re in a similar situation, please know that you’re not alone. Narcissistic abuse conditions us to expect and anticipate things to go wrong. So when things seem to go right, our bodies and minds may not know what to do.

It doesn’t always feel safe or smart to believe that the court will actually follow through or that the orders will actually be carried out. 

Plus, feelings of dread, foreboding, and worry are much more familiar than feelings of relief, vindication, and security.

How Do I Handle My Feelings of Fear & Worry?

If you’re feeling anxious and unsettled in the aftermath of a motion or order that is in your child’s favor, understand that you’re normal. Your body and mind are conditioned to live in a space where things don’t stay safe for very long - so you’re likely trying to protect yourself from disappointment and heartbreak. 

This is SO understandable and normal - but please try to stand in your truth no matter what emotions arise throughout this journey. 

On one particularly difficult day, Glenn helped me stand in my truth and face my fear by reminding me that I am a warrior mom. 

To you reading this: you, too, are a warrior parent. Please give yourself love and kindness today. 

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The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.

About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,”  I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. You can read more about me here.