Winning Against a Narcissist
Usually I’m asked what it takes to win against the narcissist - but another important question is what it means to win against a narcissist.
The tactics and strategies we use to protect our children (as much as possible) throughout the process of family court are absolutely important. But I think it’s almost important to talk about other battles that we fight - and can win if we offer ourselves the right tools.
The Invisible Battles We Fight
While divorce and family court are very visible - sometimes even public - many of the battles we fight are invisible.
The fight to stay in reality amidst disturbing dishonesty and gaslighting.
The fight to maintain our integrity.
The fight to continue to get up every day when reality is crushingly depressing.
How Do You Win Against A Narcissist?
Have you heard the saying, “The best revenge is a life well-lived”?
I have similar feelings here - some of the most poignant and beautiful ways that we “win” are:
Rediscovering our dignity and worth;
Healing from emotional and psychological abuse and gaslighting;
Living according to our values and being proud of who we are and the choices we’ve made - and learning not to beat ourselves up for our mistakes;
Practicing self-care, including seeking mental health support so that we can continue to get up and keep fighting every day.
The biggest victory for me is breaking the cycles of toxicity and dysfunction when it comes to our children. I believe the right decision is always to leave, this gives our children a different and healthier vantage point. We hold so much power as the healthy parent, our children have an opportunity to live a good life and it's up to us to show them the way. Please know they are listening and they are paying attention, we are the most powerful role models they have.
I’m rooting for you! I believe in you, and I believe you.
My Strategic Warrior Package is a great resource for folks seeking strategic ways to “win” in the more visible ways - the courtroom, mediation, etc. Here is the link if you’d like to purchase this package and have access (at a discount) to my five strategic online courses.
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Divorcing a narcissist? Welcome, you've come to the right place.
The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist and I prevailed. You can read more about me here.
