“I’m Not Just Fighting One Narcissist - I’m Up Against The Entire Family”
This common scenario can be terrifying. But you’re not alone.
For years, I lived in terror, trying to protect my daughters from Jason Porter and the rest of my X’s family.
There were days when I felt entirely defeated - sure that my X mother-in-law’s tireless work to spit-shine the family name would prevail over my endless work to protect my daughters. Their family was a pillar in our community, deeply entrenched and very well known.
Narcissistic Families Cover Up For One Another
It’s important to understand that narcissistic parents and adult children follow a twisted, toxic family rule: “Never, ever, ever let anyone know how sick we truly are.”
No matter how illegal, violent, or morally repulsive a family member’s behavior may be, narcissistic family members will usually use the following tactics to protect the family name, including:
Denial
Covering it up (hiding physical evidence, providing alibis, paying people off, etc).
Offering excuses
Providing character references
Working overtime in the community to provide stark contrast to the actions or behaviors that are not in line with a shiny public appearance
Creating smear campaigns against victims in order to discredit real accusations
Sending perpetrators away and then lying about where they are, or why they left
Narcissistic Families: The Bottom Line
I hope that my story offers hope to anyone who is living this kind of hell right now. Jason Porter was eventually held accountable for his horrific crimes - he is serving 280 years-to-life in Pleasant Valley State Prison
But it took a long time.
And during the years that I tried to protect my daughters from him and the rest of my X’s family, I experienced panic, anxiety, depression, and constant worry that my daughters would be irreparably harmed.
If you are living under this oppressive terror, please know that you are NOT alone. Support, self-care, and knowledge regarding narcissistic abuse are absolutely essential as you navigate this very difficult road.
We are ALWAYS here for you at OMB because we know how long and hard this road can be. Stay strong and keep fighting. In my heart, I believe that truth prevails. If you are navigating this alone, I invite you to join our OMB community at www.ombchapters.com. We “get it” and we believe you.
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The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. You can read more about me here.
