Flying Monkeys and Standing in our Truth

Whether you are dealing with the narcissist’s flying monkeys (those sent in to do the narcissist’s dirty work) or people who are judgmental or critical, I'd like to share some words of wisdom. I have a lot of experience on this topic when it comes to flying monkeys, haters, online trolls and people who seem to believe that their opinion should matter to me (spoiler alert: it doesn’t).

I'd like to introduce you to my two-tier “GAF” (give a f) system. The “F” can be whatever works for you. Maybe it’s “give a flip,” or “give a fudge.” I am not easily offended and I am known to drop f-bomb's like they are going out of style so… my personal favorite is the obvious. Regardless of which F word you decide to use, here's how it works:

Two-Tiered GAF System

Tier One: This tier of people, I can count on my right hand. These are my people. Included in that number is my husband & my two daughters. I care deeply about how they feel about me. I am not perfect, but I care the most about how I show up for them. Their opinions matter above all.

Tier Two: This tier of people, I can count on my left hand. They may not be family, but I care deeply about what they think, how they feel - and about how I show up for them.

Everything outside of this is just noise.

Let me repeat that: it's just noise.

When I walked into the family court advocacy arena 15-years ago, my skin was not thick. Through this journey, I have learned some painful lessons. In each of those lessons, I have learned which opinions I care about… and the rest?

It’s none of my business what they think of me.

I don’t care. My mentality is, If you see or hear someone speaking negatively about me, I don’t need to know. I send these people thoughts of love and light, and I would ask you to do the same. If you feel the need to tell me anything, I’d rather hear about how you stood up for me.

Here's the deal: I know my truth at such a core level that other people's thoughts and opinions are irrelevant to me. I know who I am and what I stand for. I am incredibly proud of what I have accomplished here at OMB, in the world, and in my life.

There are a lot of haters out there and if I allowed them in, I wouldn’t still be standing here and doing this work. I would have said “peace out“ many years ago. Most burn out in this arena within the first couple of years.

I remember when I was first starting my personal journey through the family court system. I live in a fairly small community and there were smear campaigns and flying monkeys abound. It challenged me tremendously until one day I recognized the power I held when I stood firm in my truth. I refused to ever give away my power again, upward and onward I went.

At OMB, we are powerful. We rise up, we take the highroad (even when it is lonely) and we don’t allow noise to cloud the important work we are doing.

Together, we are stronger. I believe in you.