Do All Narcissists Follow the Same Patterns?

To some extent, it is true that narcissists follow the same “playbook”, but when it comes to your child custody battle, it’s important to profile your specific narcissist.

Many folks out there, even professionals, tout that narcissists are all the same. They behave the same, follow the same patterns, and are, in essence, predictable because of the identical “playbook” they seem to follow. For most purposes, it is safe to generalize their behaviors but when it comes to child custody issues in the family court system, we can't afford to generalize; we must get specific and understand what makes each one tick.

Here’s Why Profiling the Narcissist is Important

However, in the years I’ve spent in this field, I’ve learned that while narcissists use the same abusive tactics, there are many factors that influence their patterns of behavior.

That’s why profiling the narcissist that you are up against is so important. 

Understanding more about who they are, where they’ve come from, as well as what makes them tick, can help you better understand exactly who you’re dealing with. Understanding your opponent at a core level is critical for strategy.

“But How Do I ‘Profile’ the Narcissist?”

It’s important to profile the narcissist early on in your case so that you’re prepared for whatever they may attempt to hurl your way. 

This is the way I often explain it to people:

“If ten different people came to me with the same question, it would be almost impossible to give an answer. There would likely be ten different answers, one for each person. Each answer would depend on the background, who they were up against and the variables in each situation. I think it's very lazy to say that “all narcissists are the same” because it's simply not true. You would not go into any type of battle without knowing the intricacies of your opponent.

Maybe you are ahead of most, maybe you've done the work and have analyzed everything from the narcissist’s childhood and family dynamics to their triggers and buttons? Let me be the first to congratulate you, it can be very challenging to get into a strategic mindset when you are in a fog or being hit in every direction. In my own case, I didn't see a shift until I started studying the court system and my ex-husband. I thought I knew him and I did, but I needed to go even deeper for our child custody proceedings.

In my online course, Profiling the Narcissist in a Child Custody Battle I discuss why this is important and teach you how to do it. Enroll today for immediate access.

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Divorcing a narcissist? Welcome, you've come to the right place.

The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.

About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist and I prevailed. You can read more about me here.