This is What Institutional Betrayal Looks Like
Many people tell me how strong and resilient I am but today, I don’t feel strong. I feel deeply betrayed by the family court system.
This is a system that is supposed to protect victims of abuse. That’s not what happens in family court.
On August 18, 2009, I walked into the family court system with one goal: my daughters’ safety. I naively believed that this was also the goal of the family court professionals.
I spoke my truth on that very first day and every day after that for many years. My truth never changed. No one in the family court system would listen to me. They dismissed us as, “high conflict” yet the conflict was one-sided and was threatening to destroy my soul. I needed protection but instead, I got chastised.
I only wanted peace and safety for my children.
This is institutional betrayal.
My truth was that my children were unsafe with my ex-husband, they were unsafe with his family, but more specifically, they were unsafe with my ex-husband’s older brother, Jason Robert Porter.
On October 14, 2009, the court ordered a full custody evaluation with Noelia de le Torre of Family Court Services. I felt hope: I knew once she heard my concerns, she would surely protect my children. I informed her that Jason (and his father) frequented Thailand to engage in disturbing activities with underage girls. I informed Noelia that Jason made out with a 14-year-old girl at a wedding, and I even offered contact information for witnesses. I told her that he systematically beat an entire litter of puppies while they were screaming in pain. I told her that Jason threatened to rape and murder multiple women and that I lived in fear of him. I told her that during our marriage, my husband and I pledged that our children would never be around his brother and that my ex-husband’s desire to bring our children around his brother was retaliation; he knew it was the way to inflict the most pain on me. Noelia de la Torre determined that my daughters could be around this sick person four holidays per year: 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
This was institutional betrayal.
In 2011, my ex-husband filed for a modification with the courts, requesting that his brother be given additional access to my daughters as long as there was a third-party present, he requested his cousin or either of his parents as approved supervisors. I was terrified and immediately consulted with an attorney. I strongly opposed his request through a responsive declaration that was filed with the court.
Ed Somogyi was appointed as minor’s counsel to investigate these issues. I felt hope: once he heard my case against Jason Porter, he would surely protect my children. On the day I met with Ed Somogyi, I was told that he had met with my ex-husband and his parents just days prior. Ed sat back in his chair with his arms crossed and had a condescending smirk on his face. As the following words left his mouth, I felt nauseous, paralyzed, and traumatized simultaneously: “Your ex-husband and his parents said that you had an affair with Jason Porter. You don't want him around your children because you are bitter.”
All hope escaped me in that moment as the gravity of his words shed light on the reality of what I was up against. I was not only up against one person, but it was also his entire family, and this wasn’t a normal family…this was a very sick family. Ed’s demeanor was misogynistic, arrogant and despite this, I refused to give up as my children were dependent on me pulling myself together. I went to work, staying up late into the night to gather everything he asked of me.
Time and time again, for the next two years, Ed failed my children but his biggest failure was not investigating my allegations and proof against Jason Robert Porter.
This was institutional betrayal.
During Ed’s tenure as minor’s counsel, the orders became even more relaxed when it came to my children being around Jason Porter. In fact, my ex-husband moved into the family compound which was occupied by his parents, Jason Porter, and Jason’s new wife, a woman from Thailand whom he “purchased” during a family vacation. To add insult to injury, I was ordered to drive my children 45 miles to their house, drop them off and then go back to pick them up during my ex-husband’s parenting time. I still experience PTSD going to certain parts of Paso Robles and had to work extensively with a therapist to even be able to drive to Paso Robles.
In 2013, a second custody evaluation was ordered and nine months later, everything I had ever claimed was validated. This was the same information I had given Ed Somogyi two years prior – but this newly appointed custody evaluator actually did what the court had ordered him to do. At the trial, the court took the evaluation seriously and ordered permanent, professionally supervised visits in a final custody order.
In 2014, I filed an emergency order requesting court intervention as my ex-husband reappeared after a 15-month absence and caused trauma in my daughters who had enjoyed a full year of healing and peace. It was on October 28, 2014 that the court ended all contact between my ex-husband and my daughters.
2016, our worlds were turned upside down when we discovered that Jason Robert Porter had been arrested. Everything I had ever said to the court had been validated, and then some. This is NOT the way I ever wanted to be validated. Jason stood accused of penetrating a 10-month-old baby and performing oral sex on a 4-year. He had over 3 terabytes of photos and videos – he had filmed and photographed his child sexual abuse. His mother wrote a letter in his defense, explaining that he was a great poet and a skilled carpenter – she wanted to know if he could work for minimum wage or volunteer somewhere instead of going to prison. This is the family that I fought to protect my children from - the level of sickness remains difficult to grasp.
Shortly after Jason’s arrest, I requested my case files from Noelia de la Torre of Family Court Services. I was told that the files were “missing.” It seems when there is a potential for culpability, things can mysteriously vanish and there is nothing you can do about it. I also inquired with Family Court Services of San Luis Obispo about Noelia’s credentials:
· 1995: Master’s Degree in Counseling and Student Services and a Pupil Personnel Services Credential from California State University, Fresno.
· 1993: Bachelor’s Degree in Liberal Studies from California State University, Fresno.
· 1977: Associate degree in Child Development.
· 1996: began working as a mediator and custody evaluator and is certified yearly through her court employment, education, and training as an alternative to the licensing requirement (allowed by rule of court).
This was institutional betrayal. This woman was not qualified to act as a child custody evaluator.
In 2019, we terminated my ex-husband’s parental rights.
In 2020, Glenn adopted the girls.
In 2021, Jason was convicted on 52 counts of child sex crimes and sentenced to 280-years in prison.
That same year, I requested our files from Ed Somogyi which has kicked off another living nightmare. My request was denied because according to Ed, I was not technically his client, my daughters were. My daughter (age 16) then emailed his office requesting her files and originally, was told that she could pick them up. We were then told that she couldn’t because she was a minor.
In September, Ed filed a motion with the court but because there is no family court case; it should have been rejected. His motion was accepted and even though Commissioner Erin Child’s lacks jurisdiction (because there is no case!), she appointed new minor’s counsel to retrieve the files. The new minor’s counsel wants released from the case claiming she doesn’t have the room to store the files. We have court on April 12, 2022 and we’ve filed a motion to “set aside the order” because again, the court lacks jurisdiction. I just want my files.
This is institutional betrayal.
I am triggered, and my entire week has been derailed. My rational brain tells me, “your children are safe, be grateful.” The PTSD causes my body to go into fight or flight mode and places me right back in the trauma, unable to function, unable to form sentences and dreading the thought of April 12 when I will attend a court date that should not be on calendar.
Because of ongoing institutional betrayal, I have no choice.
