Processing Difficult Emotions in a High Conflict Custody Battle
You’ll likely experience intense emotions on the battlefield - after all, this is war. Learn how to work with them so that you can show up in a healthy way for your children.
During my years on the battlefield, I experienced a spectrum of emotions that stretched me as a person and changed the way I view life.
Anger
Fear
Grief
Frustration
Rage
Anxiety
Depression
Shame
Guilt
Just to name a few.
Many of these on repeat.
I quickly learned that in order to show up in a healthy way for my daughters, I needed to both process and channel these emotions into something productive, or I wouldn’t be able to protect them.
Channel Your Emotions on The Battlefield: Use Your Anger as Fuel
I felt angry almost every day. This was a confusing and uncomfortable feeling for me.
Angry that the court system didn’t seem to do anything that it was supposed to do.
Angry that my X was rarely held accountable.
Angry that my X wanted to hurt me, but it was my daughters who ultimately suffered the most.
When I allowed myself to really feel my anger, I could recognize its power. It pulsed through my veins, into my jaw, into my face. Anger is a powerful emotion - and very justified when you are on the battlefield.
So here’s my advice, learned from personal experience - anger can be productive but only if we channel it into taking action that will help us to accomplish our “big picture” goals.
Take your anger, and use it to:
Provide energy and focus as you become educated about your local judges and family court system;
Fuel your consistent drive to document, document, document;
Exercise! Moving your body is a fantastic way to process and work through trauma;
Your anger can be your superpower - if - you take that incredible power and use it to push your personal mission forward.
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Divorcing a narcissist? Welcome, you've come to the right place.
The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist and I prevailed. You can read more about me here.
