I’m Divorcing a Narcissist: What Should I Wear to Court?
Not the most fun, but definitely an important step - picking your clothing for your divorce or child custody battle court appearances.
Of all the things to be stressing about - staying alive, keeping your children alive, getting documentation to your attorney, and surviving the narcissist’s relentless attacks - here’s a quick guide to choosing your wardrobe for in-person court appearances when facing a narcissist.
The 3 C’s for Court Clothes: Comfortable, Cautious, Cool
There’s nothing worse than having to shift around awkwardly in a tightly-fitting pantsuit that you haven’t worn since 2006 while trying to stay centered and professional.
Following the 3 C’s rule can help you avoid uncomfortable situations in the courtroom.
Comfortable: Make sure that your clothing isn’t too tight and that the texture of the material isn’t irritating.
Cautious: Be “cautious” - wear simple colors, simple cuts, and shoes you can walk in without making a great deal of noise. Remember that family court professionals may be misogynistic and petty enough to judge you based upon your clothing, so it’s best to go with the more cautious choices and dress conservatively.
Cool (as in temperature): there are few things worse than hot flashes during cross-examination. Remember to wear layers so that you’re in control of your temperature as much as possible.
Outfit Ideas On a Budget:
Many protective parents don’t have the funds to go shopping for each court appearance. Consider some simple outfits that hit the 3 C’s:
Sleeveless top with a cardigan and thicker jacket over it, with slacks and boots.
A tunic with a long cardigan and leggings.
A simple dress with a cardigan, tights, and boots.
What if I Don’t Have Anything to Wear to My Family Court Trial?
If you feel concerned because you don’t own items that are appropriate for the family court setting, consider:
Asking a family member, friend, or neighbor if you can borrow from their closet;
Calling your local DV shelter and asking if they have clothing they can lend or give you.
Check with others in your local chapter of One Mom’s Battle - maybe we need to normalize community closets to support each other.
###
Divorcing a narcissist? Welcome, you've come to the right place.
The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist and I prevailed. You can read more about me here.
