Advice from the Battlefield: Finding a Trial Lawyer

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My book, Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield is a compilation of questions and advice from those in the family court trenches. I will be beginning a new series of blog posts culled from our support forums at One Mom's Battle and the Lemonade Club.

Today's Question: Trial lawyer: I am starting my search for a trial lawyer. What are some important questions to ask them?

Advice from the Battlefield:

What is their experience with my Judge?

What is their experience with a diagnosed Cluster B as opposing party?

What strategies can be used to settle out of court?

What is their record in front of the judge and their relationship with the judge? All campaign donations are public record. I would start first with the attorneys that contributed the most during the judge’s last election cycle. Unfortunately, family law is a corrupt system...esp. if the other party has money.

Ask for a list of GALs (minor's counsel) they recommend.

I would ask about feesand billing. I had a great law firm but they charged for everything.Financially this battle can break you unless you can find an attorney that willwork with you.

Ask about their experience with “high conflict” personalities... some may be more familiar with that term or type.

Here is a helpful YouTube video: Legal Nuts and Bolts.

I avoid attorneys with extensive marketing campaigns. They work by volume not quality. The best don't need as much marketing.

I would try if possible to ask around as to who else he has represented in “high conflict” cases ...also most court records are open and you can do some digging (although having the time to do so is another factor ) . Also, what is the lawyers personal life if that is at all possible to ascertain even minimally. High-power attorneys, law enforcement , judicial often have certain inclinations and traits themselves: generalization of course , and of course there are many doing good as well .

Judges can change and will change. I focused on my relationship and trust with my attorney. I asked my attorney to tell me what is not worth fighting for. Like asking for $1,000 or X, Y and Z when it will cost me $3,000 to fight for that. In some light discussion (but would make a difference), I asked that he not retire or move (happened with my first attorney before first trial) until my child turns 18. For awhile, the closest advisors I had were ones I paid for: attorney, financial advisor, and therapist. Take care!

If you have time, go sit & watch yourjudge & the attorneys in front of the judge. Get names or cards. Talk totheir clients. Evaluate the lawyer.

I’d say someis seeing how responsive and professional they are. My old attorney provided meall written correspondence, motions, court notices, etc for my case as itoccurred. (Maybe this is standard...but I think not). I wasn’t as organizedback then, but it made it much easier to then decide to go pro se later (due to nothaving $$) and to understanding what she was doing in the background which Ithen in turn have tried to mimic as pro se.

Check thecounty court records. The best atty’s will have hundreds of cases. Martingale.com is also a better indicator of theirreputation amongst fellow judges/lawyers (remember judges at one time werelawyers). Websites like avvo will delete negative reviews, so if you see a negative review, likely that person made alot of hoops to get through. Also check case law in Westlaw/Lexis Nexus forappeals and cases they won/lost. You can also search the judge in case law; seewho had the most success litigating w that judge.

Absolutely bevery careful of the ones that market “cluster B expertise”. In my area, I founda “cluster B” attorney and she completely took advantage of me, felt justifiedin charging me $50,000 and said she gave me a “50% discount” because I had a high conflict situation, thenthreatened child custody when I questioned her billing practices. She is nowsuing me for fees; and I’m counter suing for malpractice. I hope I’m in theminority here. I have found the best atty’s normally deal w high conflictsituations, esp those in appellate law.

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