My War is Over. We Have Peace.

“Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.”  - Sun TzuMy battle is over.My war is over.Yesterday, after a full and exhausting day of court and back-and-forth negotiations, Seth agreed to terminate his parental rights and to allow my husband, Glenn to adopt my daughters.Ten years ago, Seth declared war and went in with guns blazing. For him, it was all about winning.I had “won” first in the ways that mattered. My love, bond and relationship with my daughters was authentic and true. It wasn’t staged to impress anyone. These girls were my world from the moment I discovered they were growing inside of me. My love for them wasn’t conditional nor was it a show.I lost many small battles along the way but I won the war: my girls are safe.The court protected them in 2014 when they terminated his visitation and phone contact but he refused to let go. It was about control. When I offered to let him walk away from his child support obligation in 2015, he refused. I extended the same offer year after year. To someone on the outside, it defied logic. Why would someone want to keep paying support on children they couldn’t even see? Again, it was about control but few can wrap their mind around this unless they’ve been to war with a Cluster B personality disordered individual.This year, Seth’s child support arrears had grown to over $80,000. It finally affected him when he lost his passport and his driver’s license. He moved back to my town and took a job five blocks from my home. This was very pointed and intentional. Then he filed a motion regarding child support. I stood back, refusing to “poke the bear” for years. I never attempted to hold him accountable for child support because I know that money is the narcissist’s biggest button. When he decided to go back to the battlefield of family court, I accepted his invitation.While I didn’t try to formally hold him accountable over the years, I had been documenting behind the scenes. His need for attention on social media essentially built my case and allowed me to showcase his world travels and his extravagant lifestyle. My private investigator was instrumental in building my case. When he filed to reduce support, I went in with guns blazing – this time, I had the help of an attorney who is an Earth Angel and a family court badass. We filed interrogatories, a debtor’s exam, a deposition and a declaration that I’m sure made Seth’s head spin. Seth’s focus was his passport, and material possessions – my focus remained the same: my girls and their safety.After a full day of court and back-and-forth negotiations, I am happy to share our happy, peaceful ending:

• We walked away from the $80,000 in child support arrears.
• We walked away from the future support that would have likely totaled $100,000.
• In exchange, we received peace. Peace is what I’ve wanted since this battle began ten years ago. Peace is priceless.
• Seth is agreeing to terminate his parental rights and next week, we will begin the process for my husband to formally adopt the girls.

To those who have followed my journey for the past ten years: thank you. Thank you for walking alongside me. Thank you for cheering me on. Thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts. Thank you for sharing in the battles lost and the battles won. Thank you for your words of encouragement when I felt defeated. Thank you.To my husband Glenn, my Aunt Bev, and my sister: thank you. I couldn't have done this without your support.To my Lemonade Sisters: I am forever grateful to you beautiful souls. Thank you.God is good.#IJustWantPeace