The Pedophile and His Family

When we are examining the family court system and toxic family dynamics, we see several common themes: enabling family members who further the perpetrators reign of terror and family court professionals who fail to believe survivors and therefore, are failing our children.

My children are safe - many are not.

By all accounts, my children and I are considered to be one of the “lucky ones” but that’s a difficult pill for me to swallow. Logically, I know we are lucky. I successfully protected my children from absolute monsters in a broken judicial system. But what we’ve been through to get to that point, and what we are currently facing…my mom-heart is shattered.

For those of you who haven’t followed my story, a bit of background:

1. My ex-husband was “legally” the person I was up against in family court however, his mother was in the background orchestrating so much of it. I previously referred to her as “in denial” but I was giving her way too much credit. In my humble opinion, she is as sick as her sons - but even more dangerous because she is calculated and more intelligent.

2. If left to his own, my ex-husband would have likely disappeared long before he did. Like the majority of narcissists and sociopaths, it was never about the kids so his fight wasn’t sustainable - he trained for a 10K in the ultra-marathon of family court. His fuel was pleasing his sick mother and the family image (which was of the utmost importance to her).

3. My battle in family court was largely focused on keeping my children away from my ex-brother-in-law, Jason Robert Porter (#JasonRobertPorter). During our marriage, my ex-husband and I were 100% united on this. We refused to allow a racist, misogynistic, suicidal, homicidal, homophobic pedophile who tortured animals around our children - and my ex-husband even stood up to his mother for the first time in his life on this issue and detailed all of our concerns about him. In 2009 when our marriage came to an end, my youngest daughter was two-years old and didn’t even know she had an uncle - she had never met him. Our last contact with Jason had been in June of 2006.

Post-separation abuse is about power, control, winning and hurting the other parent - which is exactly what my ex-husband set out to do. He knew that the number one way to hurt me was to take my daughters around his brother. Which he did immediately.

I fought with everything that I had. I begged every court official on my path to help me protect my children from this madman and his family. It began with a child custody evaluation in 2009 - the evaluator’s name is Noelia de le Torre of Family Court Services in San Luis Obispo. When I found out that she would be meeting with my ex-mother-in-law, fear took over. I sent Noelia the following email:

Noelia,

I am very confused about the relevance of interviewing my mother-in-law and I hope you can help me to understand the importance of the interview. My concern lies in the fact that she has had very limited interaction with my daughters-- limited to a couple of weeks during Christmas and summers which her time is divided between her sons in Northern California and Southern California. I think she saw the girls for a total of four days in December of 2009 and prior to that once or twice a week in July and August of 2009. As you know, she lives overseas and while their family appears very healthy on the outside (degrees in education, long marriage, extremely personable, etc), she is one of the most dysfunctional people that I know.

Does she love the girls- yes, tremendously.

She has played a large part in our marital problems due to her inability to recognize the problems in her sons (Jason and Seth both) and is a very manipulative person. This is a woman who sat in Applebees listening to her eldest son Jason talk about raping and murdering a woman in Texas without flinching. I accompanied her son Jason to counseling when they tried to brush the issues under the table. This is also a woman who watched as I grabbed my daughter and fled Jason's home as he systematically beat 8 tiny puppies (10 weeks old) one at a time until they were screaming in pain.

As you can see by many of the emails in your possession, I have reached out to (monster-in-law) for help on many occasions to no avail. She is very much in denial about problems that exist within her family. I am concerned because I think it would be more helpful (and relevant) to interview people who have been a part of our family on an ongoing basis. People who have seen my parenting up close and personal-- Sienna (the girls' Godmother) who has been in our family since my daughter was five months old on a monthly (weekly and daily) basis consistently.

I think that your email through me off a bit as I am trying to find the relevance in an interview with (monster-in-law).

My concerns: she is very good at painting a rosy picture; regardless if there is truth in it. I hope that you can help me to understand and once again, I greatly appreciate your time.

Sincerely, Tina

Sure enough, everything changed after that meeting and Noelia de la Torre recommended that my daughters could be around Jason Porter four times a year - I was devastated.

Then came minor’s counsel, Edward Somogyi. I begged, I pleaded during the first meeting with him. Unfortunately, my monster-in-law had beat me to the meeting - she, her husband and my ex-husband had met with him days prior and he was condescending and dismissive of my concerns. He was appointed ON THE DAY my ex-husband and his mother were requesting more access between Jason and my children. My fight to keep my children away from Jason Porter was the main reason that Ed was appointed. Ed did nothing to protect my children from Jason and in fact, they were allowed to be around Jason more and more over the years while Ed was serving as minor’s counsel. In my personal opinion, he failed my daughters severely.

In a declaration written and filed with the court, by my ex-monster-in-law stated:

I do understand Ms. Swithin’s concerns. But while I understand them, I in no way agree with them. Jason has had some issues with depression in the past and has texted some terribly inappropriate things to Ms. Swithin. His intentions were to protect and defend his brother. His methods were wrong and we do not condone them. However, that does not mean he is a danger to our granddaughters. We resent the implication that we would somehow put our grandchildren at risk. We resent the implication that Jason Porter is a terrible person and that merely being in his presence would damage the girls.

Jason is now married, a father of one and a respected contractor in North County.

We are simply asking you, your Honor, to modify the custodial agreement so that the girls can be in the presence of their uncle, Jason Porter, and can grow up in a caring, family-oriented environment. We love our granddaughters. We would respect the court’s requirement that we (in-laws) are present when the girls are in Seth’s care).

Fast forward to 2016, Jason was arrested and alleged to be the biggest child molester in the history of San Luis Obispo County. I was so devastated by the reality of his arrest, and crimes, that I ended up having a nervous breakdown. I was on my couch for several months in fetal position and medicated. Much of that period of time is a blur to me.

We’ve been waiting for FIVE years for trial - the slow wheels of justice. Yet another system where the perpetrator runs the show and victims have no rights.

Trial has finally started - yesterday, the monster-in-law testified, and prior to her courtroom debut, Jason’s counsel requested that his handcuffs be removed (!!!) — we would not want mommy-dearest to see her poor baby in handcuffs. And, his request was honored.

I was recently pouring through Jason Porter’s court documents and motions and came across a statement that he submitted - written to his former attorney, by his mother as she acknowledges that he has an “addiction to child pornography.” Let that sink in for a second before you read her statement: 

“I now know the evidence against him may be pretty damning-and I want you to be able to see the “real Jason.” I want you to know Jason as I know him.

He is the oldest of our four sons. His brothers have always looked up to him and he has been there for each of them on numerous occasions.

Some years ago, when he was in his early 20s and just starting out, his father had lost his job and his grandfather, who lived with us, had just been diagnosed with lung cancer. It was Christmas. We were not going to have much of one. Jason showed up on Christmas Eve with gifts for everyone. Bikes for a little brothers, a stereo for the family, a Christmas tree and mountain bikes for his dad and me. 

He is an incredibly hard worker and a perfectionist in his carpentry and construction craft.

He is fiercely loyal and very black-and-white about things.

He is not well organized in his personal life, terrible at paying bills and taxes as he should end, a bit of a rebel. He’d call it, ‘being a cowboy.’

He is generous to a fault. He was constantly under paying himself so his workers would get a little more. He sent workers out on a job that he knew he could do himself to help them – although it often lessened his own income.

He loves his son more than life itself. You have to meet this little boy. He has been a good father figure to his stepson, despite language and cultural differences.

He is an introvert, but he loves people and loves to party.

This year, the day before Father’s Day, he took his boys and bought them fishing poles. On Father’s Day, they left at 6 AM and spent the day rock fishing. The only thing they caught was a crab but he said it was the best way to celebrate Father’s Day - to be with his boys.

He was baptized, raised Catholic, attended Catholic elementary, middle and high school. He knows right from wrong. He knows better.

He was captain of his football team, student body president and has been in charge of his high school reunions.

He is a gifted writer, and used to write amazing poetry.

To my knowledge, there is nothing in his past that would explain his addiction to pornography, particularly child pornography. Now that this has come to light, I truly believe this is a mental illness and he needs therapeutic help. He has had episodes of depression-untreated. He is severely depressed now. Please understand: I don’t condone or excuse his behavior. I am heartsick about it. I just know, as mothers no, that this is not who he is.

I know this is not your problem at all: it is our reality. If there is any possibility of a plea bargain, therapy, residential treatment, probation, a bracelet-working at a minimum wage while building homes for habitat or homeless shelters, community service, restitution, please..."