The Dirty Word in Family Court: Alienation
The "dirty word" of family court: alienation.
History: It's a dirty word for a reason: it's roots and its origin are grotesque. Richard Gardner created this "syndrome" based on his own observations. Known to be "pedophile friendly" and said to be biased against women, his theory is not recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, the World Health Organization or the American Medical Association. None of his work has been peer reviewed. Essentially, it's junk science cooked up by someone who helped place children into the arms of pedophiles.
Present Day: There is a large group (and growing) of individuals who have repackaged Garner's theory of PAS and re-labeled it, "Parental Alienation" or, "Alienation." We also see claims of "enmeshment" and "gate-keeping."
While many do not follow Gardner’s “original version” of the syndrome, the repackaged variations mentioned above are still used by abusers to take custody from healthy parents. Regardless of the name, it remains the go-tool weapon for abusers (narcissists) to remove custody from healthy parents.
There is a lot of money in this movement from attorneys who argue alienation claims knowing this "theory" has no basis in reality to therapists and other professionals who are paid upwards of $10,000 per child once labeled as "alienated" and sent to reunification camps. These camps are like something out of a science fiction movie where children are met by "deprogrammers" and told that the abuse never happened; it's brainwashing and it's organized gaslighting.
The Perfect Storm: when does the storm become even more intense? There are a combination of factors:
What do we all know about narcissists and other high-conflict individuals? They play a strong victim card, don't they? It is the perfect storm when they find an empathetic therapist or, a family court professional who is charmed through their hightened impression management skills.
When you have children who have never bonded with the toxic parent for a variety of reasons but mainly because the narcissist is incapable of truly loving or bonding with a child. They see them as possessions. The child feels this to their core, on their own but they are often unable to articulate it.
When you have children who have suffered (or witnessed) varying levels of abuse or cruelty at the hands of the narcissist. The child knows that this parent is unsafe and untrustworthy. There is significant trauma but again, they lack the ability to articulate their experiences.
The child(ren) naturally recoil from the narcissist/toxic parent and often reject them. This is a healthy, defense and protection mechanism. We WANT our children to listen to their intuition and to protect themselves unless the eyes of the family court system are watching and then, you are at risk for having your children taken from you. You risk being labeled an alienator.
You are expected to force your children to override their own inner voice which was designed to protect them and, encourage a relationship with a toxic individual whose only objective is to hurt you, to control you and to win.
They weaponize the children to do this.
This is post separation abuse.
Resources if you are facing allegations of parental alienation:
Parental Alienation Syndrome and Parental Alienation: A Research Review
Joan S. Meier
*** If you have resources for us to add, please email tina@tinaswithin.com