Single Mom Life: Surviving and Thriving

This came up in my memories today from nine years ago: this is such a powerful photo for me. It captures a painful, raw time in my life that I never want to forget. Remembering allows me to connect on a deep level with the people that I work with everyday. It allows me to put myself in their shoes. I vow to never forget what I felt like in the moment this photo was taken.

I was struggling.

I was struggling to buy groceries. Struggling to keep a roof over our heads. Struggling to work full-time and be a full-time mom to a four-year-old and a six-year-old. I was struggling to understand a very broken court system. I was struggling to drop my children off with a madman and his disgusting/toxic family members.

I had supportive people around me yet I felt so alone because no one truly understood. They tried. They meant well. I am forever grateful to them but they didn't get it. I'm actually thankful when people don't get it because I'd never wish this experience on anyone.

On the other hand, I was blessed.

I had a job that I loved. It was a job that allowed me to work from home. I was able to get my foot in the door with an advertising/marketing agency and I vowed to be such an asset to their team that they would never want to get rid of me. I held true to that, working late into the night to make up for missing work for court dates. My blood type was Caffeine Positive. I was in survival mode.

I was two years into my custody battle and I had already earned majority custody which means I had more influence on my children than he did. At the time, I knew how big this was but looking back from a higher vantage point, it was truly monumental.

Summers were especially challenging because I could not afford childcare and school was out. I purchased season passes to the Ravine Water park for all three of us which felt like a small fortune. It was a small fortune. But, it was less expensive than childcare and my children loved it.

I would get the kids up early and we would arrive 30 to 45 minutes before they opened the park just so we could be first in line. We had to be first in line because there was only one table in the shade. My kids knew the drill: the second we made it through the gate, they would run up ahead and grab my table. I would sit there and work all day, I would mute myself on conference calls and, they would play. The lifeguards were amazing, my mom friends helped keep an eye on the girls while I worked and even on those difficult days, I counted my blessings.

My biggest blessing was that the girls were oblivious to everything that was going on in my world and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This memory chokes me up every single year. It captures so much for me.

If you are in your own "Ravine Water Park Chapter," please know that I've been there and I get it. I see you and I hear your battlecry. I am cheering you on all the way. You've got this.

Remember: this too shall pass.