Reunification Camps and Brave Survivors

Children Failed by Family Court

The clock is ticking and the children at the center of the family court crisis are aging out of a system that has failed them. With the tide turning, the media is finally listening, and several class action lawsuits are underway. The stories are different yet, they are all the same. Many of these brave young adults have been silenced, gaslit and infantilized for years and now, they are stepping into their power and reclaiming their voices.

These children will be fueled by their experiences and their traumas, yet the trajectory will look different for each survivor. Some will go forward, never daring to look back because what they see in the rearview mirror is too raw and painful. There will be those who spend a lifetime unpacking the heavy, deep-seated pain that was never theirs to carry. Then there will be those who come in like wrecking balls, committed to using their personal trauma as the catalyst for change. There will be thousands of us waiting at the finish line, honoring the path that is chosen regardless of which one it is. The path that each brave survivor chooses is paved with fortitude, each path is honorable, and each has merit.

One such survivor is 18-year-old Maya who is currently residing in Mexico with her mother and siblings as they await a decision from the Hague Convention. Maya reached out to share her story and has commitment to being part of the change that we are so desperately working towards. She stands with us united in advocacy, envisioning a family court system that prioritizes child safety over parental rights. She is brave, articulate and a fierce protector of her youngest sibling who is in hiding from a court order that would have sent him into Turning Points for Families, owned by the notorious Linda Gottlieb.  

While there are very few smoking guns in the family court system, Maya happens to be holding one. The state of Texas is a one-party consent state meaning, it is legal to record conversations. On June 26, 2020, Maya recorded her final reunification therapy session with Loretta Maase, partner to Linda Gottlieb in the Texas branch of Turning Points for Families. The entire recording is an hour and a half in length and it’s chilling from start to finish.

Prior to the final reunification session, Maya prepared a speech to bravely confront her father, detailing years of abuse at his hands. At the time, Maya was only 16-years old, and her delivery was composed, powerful and articulate. Very few adults who could have held their composure while detailing memories and abuse in such a clear and precise way. After addressing her father and confronting him with her memories, the dialogue between Loretta and Maya was disturbing:

Loretta Maase: Your mom sent me a note and said, "Maya no longer trusts you, but she's going to come talk to her dad." Is that the situation? And so why is that?

Maya: I know my mom had, you had asked a question to my mom, "If it had to do with sexual abuse what I wanted to talk about?" And I asked her because I had received an email from my dad saying, "You are better than this. Be honest, Maya." And he wouldn't have sent me an email if he didn't know what I wanted to talk about.

Loretta Maase: Of course. So, the exact conversation was your mom had told me, "Have you talked with Maya's therapist?" I said, "No." She said, "She's been having a lot of memories and a lot of things come up in therapy, so you need to talk with her therapist." And I said, "Are they going to tell me that Maya's having memories of sexual abuse?" And she said, "Yes." And so, I didn't have questions about sexual abuse. She positioned it that she said, "I don't want to tell you what they are because I want Maya to tell you." And I said, "Okay." But then she mentioned it a couple more times, "Maya's having these things come up," and I said, "Okay, then you don't have to give me details, but is she going to tell me that she's been sexually molested?" And she said, "Yes." 

And so, I did call your dad and I said, "I can't see your face right now, but I need to know something. You're probably going to be accused and I need to know what you're going to say about that." So, it's not like I went to him and sided with him. I basically called him out and said, "What the heck is going on?" And so, he and I had a brief conversation. It's like, "This is going to be an issue and I need to know from you before Maya comes in this room, what is up with this?" And he denied it. So, it wasn't as if I asked your mom if you were sexually abused and I went to your dad and all that. I called him and said, "What the heck is going on?" So that's the intention of my conversation. 

Maya: But still, that's breaking confidentiality within something my mom told you and you-

Loretta Maase: In family therapy, we don't have confidentiality.

Maya: ... But still. If I haven't shared it with you, I don't feel that is something you should feel you can share when you haven't even heard this story from me.

The conversation goes on for another 10 minutes before Loretta Maase states the following:

“You have feelings that are associated with sexual molestation, not rape, but sexual molestation, the sexual nature, they bring up some PTSD kinds of bad feelings for you. But you don't have any kind of memories of where they originated from. So, my question for you, I know you processed this in here, if you've processed alternative hypotheses, just processed alternatives because I'm always thinking what are the range of possibilities and options and what are the range of where things originated? Because as you conclude this, I'm not saying your dad did or did not, I wasn't there, I don't know.

As you move through this, you're giving yourself a lifelong sentence. If you assume that feeling, memories you don't have are about something you just experienced but you can't remember, it's a lifelong identity and sentence that you're giving yourself that you don't have any memories to substantiate it or support it. That concerns me whenever I hear that happen because it is an identity and a self-imposed harm for you to have that identity without any valid justification for it. I'm not saying your dad didn't. I'm just saying you don't have anything to validate or substantiate it, but yet you're going to give yourself a lifelong identity and sentence because of it. And it becomes a lifelong thing.

I was somebody who was molested. It becomes an identity. It becomes something that festers, and it has an impact on our self-esteem and our identity and our issues that we have to work through. So, I'm just going to caution you, before you accept that for yourself, understand the lifelong implications because you don't have a tangible reason to believe that.”

Towards the end of the conversation on this topic, Lorretta concludes with:

“What I can tell you, if you would look up Dr. Stephen Ceci, and there are many others that do it steady memory and he works on capital murder cases, he works on kidnappings and sexual rape of babies, and I mean everything. And he talks a lot about research and just profound wealth of experience about memory. I would watch some of his videos about memory because memory is the number one most unreliable, one of our senses and one of our capabilities. He's like, "Don't listen to me, listen to the scientists about that." Memory is our number one most unreliable characteristic and that is profound to me that he is able to show as is Dr. Loflin, L-O-F-L-I-N, Dr. Loflin, is able to show that memories can be implanted.”

In the session, Maya goes on to describe her diary dating back to when she was only eight-years old. At this young age, she journaled about wanting to die because of the various types of abuse that she, her mother and her siblings were experiencing. In response. To this confrontation, her dad continues to deflect, make excuses and dismiss the vivid, articulate memories that she eloquently shared. At several junctures, Loretta Maase chimed in to validate that what Maya and her family experienced, was in fact, abuse.

Loretta Maase: “Okay. So, there was verbal abuse. There was emotional. Trying to get the children to see things from your point of view against their mom. I don't know if your mom has done that, but if both parents have done that from both parents, it's emotional abuse, psychological abuse.

So, you said something interesting is that you acknowledge that you verbally abused them and let's just say that goes with emotional abuse and she added an addendum to it, but there was also physical. And so you're making a distinction that you didn't physically abuse them. When you expose them to throwing bottles and breaking windows that is domestic violence, which is physical abuse and emotional abuse and verbal abuse. It's abuse. So I think is that what you're referring to, that your dad is saying here that he abused but then he qualifies it and says, "Well this part here but not this part"?

Maya: Yeah, and then he invalidates that I say, "Actually, you did abuse me." And I recount again if I feel safe in that time to say it again mentally and then he says, "No, that's not true." Or, "No, that doesn't count because it wasn't directly toward you." Because I'm saying, "You physically abused me sometimes." He's like, "The severity." You said, "Severity, it's different because you weren't your sister."

Loretta Maase: So domestic violence to children, to all of us, to children, domestic violence is absolutely the same thing as physically abusing somebody. So if you're breaking windows, if you're throwing things, that's it. Doesn't matter if you're throwing something or you're punching a kid. It's domestic violence and it's still physical abuse, emotional abuse. So, I think once and for all, did you abuse these kids?

(Maya’s dad): Yes.

Loretta Maase: Physically, emotionally, or both?

(Maya’s dad): Yes. I have a hard time with the physical part is what-

Loretta Maase: [inaudible].

(Maya’s dad): Yes. I have a hard time with the physical part because when I hear physical, I'm thinking of a kid with broken nose and black eyes and being physically beating their body.

Loretta Maase: Domestic violence-

(Maya’s dad): You're going to tell me if I slam the door and the glass falls out and shocks everybody even myself, I've never intended to do, that that's physical abuse?

Loretta Maase: Yes. 

Maya: And then- 

(Maya’s dad): Okay, then yes.

Loretta Maase: Domestic violence is the same thing as physical abuse to her and to (younger sibling) and your older daughter to be involved in an environment where there's domestic violence, it doesn't matter if it's a broken cup or a broken nose, it's domestic violence.

Maya: But then also seeing you invalidating my own experiences of physical violence because you say it wasn't directly toward me, like seeing you hurt my sister physically hurts me just ... maybe not even as much as her but it still hurts me to see. So, when you're pushing her down the stairs, when you're pulling her to the floor, when you're slapping her on the back, it's not like that doesn't affect me. That is still physical abuse. So, if I'm seeing that, it's not like I think I have a difference, and this isn't going to happen to me. Why do you think that never happened to me as much as her? It's because I got in your head and got to be your friend. If I didn't, I would've been facing the same level of physical hatred that you were inflicting on her. I'm not going to invalidate my own experiences of emotional abuse because I didn't face as much physical abuse as my sister. So, I'm not going to hear you saying, "I never abused you," because that is not true.

Loretta Maase: Okay. So, it's like learning to befriend your enemy in order to stay safe, is what you're saying.

 Maya: Yeah.

Loretta Maase: So, I think that the critical message here is that those years ago and again I think that's years ago, you did physically abuse these kids. You did emotionally and verbally, all of that is physical abuse.

A bit further into the session, this disturbing narrative continues:

(Maya’s dad): Maya, you're right. I did abuse you. It was a constant environment of stress and anxiety because of my abuse and behavior. I can see it. I have been hung up with this term of physical abuse in my mind where the first thing I think of about abuse is like punching kids or broken bones, broken arms or calling the CPS, Child Protective Service and take them away because they've been physically beat up to that degree. I didn't do that, but I did abuse you the way that you've mentioned, verbal. It is physical, slamming doors, throwing things, grabbing (sibling) by the arm, pushing her outside and tell her to sweep the porch, doing chores, trying to get her to her appointments, her sensory processing disorder and then ... Do you remember when I took her to Yogapeutics? 

Maya: I don't know why you're bringing that up at all.

(Maya’s dad): Oh, you see that's why when I get so frustrated. I'm trying to get her ... I mean, I'm doing it wrong. I mean the doctor's saying she needs to do exercise and move and so I'm taking her outside to run and I'm physically pushing her to get her to run and that's like the worst thing to do, looking back, I mean that's stupid. Yes, physically was abusive also. I agree with you. That is physical abuse. If I grabbed her or coming down the stairs I pushed her, I didn't want her to fall and break her neck but yes, I pushed her, and it was dangerous. You're right.

Maya: Oh, so now you're admitting it?

(Maya’s dad): I admit that I pushed her, yes. I pushed her and I saw her stumble on the stairs.

Maya: Thanks, took you long enough. Finally admit that.

Loretta Maase: I'd like to add something here that you may not know about, Maya.

Maya: Yeah.

Loretta Maase: Your dad has been in very intensive treatment with a really well-known anger management specialist in [inaudible 00:55:55]. So they've been working for six months now on a very intensive program. So, I think you're seeing the change in your dad, being able to acknowledge the things I'm sure that he's covering in counseling. Is that correct?

(Maya’s dad): That's right.

Maya left this traumatizing reunification therapy session on June 26, 2020, and one month later, Loretta Maase recommended (through a series of emails), that the children enter an intensive inpatient program at the reunification camp, Turning Points for Families. Loretta claimed that the children were “resistant to any meaningful conversation about moving forward.” Lorretta recommended that the children resume aftercare with her and that the father should resume his parenting time following the four-day reunification camp.

Six months later, on January 15, 2021, the case was heard in front of Judge James Arth in Austin, Texas. Judge Arth stated in his ruling;

“I am going to grant the relief asked by (Maya’s father). I’m going to order the kids attend Turning Points Program: however, it’s not going to be with Ms. Maase because I think she’s been by the tainted the process, and if I want this… I am not saying that it’s her fault, but I want this to be successful, and I fear if she was involved in it at this point, (Maya’s mom) will further torpedo the issue, and it will be money wasted so there to do it with Miss Gottlieb in New York.”

Maya’s mother, along with Maya and her siblings, fled to Mexico and currently await a Hauge decision which will determine if Maya’s younger brother will be forced to return to the United States and attend Turning Points for Families. Once children enter into a reunification camp, it is rare that they return to their preferred, safe parent. Turning Points for Families is promoted as ‘the ultimate four-day therapeutic vacation (for $15,000),” but it is never just four-days. There is a 90-day black out period where are the children are prohibited from contacting their safe parent. The aftercare portion of the program gives full control to Linda Gottlieb (or her colleagues) and several parents who were interviewed describe losing their children for several years, with little hope of being reunited.

It is critical that we start listening to children, the most vulnerable members of our society. While Maya is no longer a child, her voice has been silenced for far too long by those who were tasked with protecting her. These individuals failed miserably in their duty to protect her, and her siblings. They did not act in her best interest.

“My experience with family court and reunification therapy has been completely dehumanizing and traumatizing. I finally felt brave enough to stand up for myself and my family, to face our abuser. I was told that I was a liar. I am not a liar, I pride myself on honesty and transparency. I trusted Loretta because she told me that she had my safety and best interest at heart yet later, she tried to throw me right back into the cycle of abuse that I had mustered up so much courage to get out of. I hope to see other survivors of family court speaking up for themselves, being believed, and feeling supported. That has not been my experience. I hope to be an asset in reforming family courts so that children do not have to be continually victimized by a system that is meant to protect them. Everyone is deserving of a life without violence and our current laws do not ensure this basic human right for children. I hope that children’s claims of violence will be taken seriously and that their human rights will be preserved, no matter what “parental rights” are in place. I also hope that publicizing my story will help to protect my younger sibling. I know my voice has power and I’m ready to be heard.”

Not only should we be listening, we should be collectively amplifying the voices of the brave survivors like Maya. These children now have a voice - and there will be accountability for those who failed to protect them. The spotlight is shining brightly on the darkness of the alienation industry.