My Narcissistic Ex In-Laws Are Breaking My Heart
Attacks from your narcissistic ex’s parents, siblings, and extended family members hurt. Let’s talk about it.
Most folks in this community have experienced in-law abuse to one degree or another. Raining my hand extra high. I’ve often said that my custody battle was not against my ex-husband, it was against his mother.
Whether it’s enduring criticism, fending off wild accusations, or dealing with stalking and harassment, the pain of betrayal and abuse from narcissistic ex in-laws can feel overwhelming at times.
Why Is Narcissistic In-Law Abuse So Painful?
Many survivors grieve the relationship with their ex in-laws because, just like the relationship with the narcissist, it may have been beautiful and loving for a time. In hindsight, we know it was never really love.
In-law love bombing can feel intensely fulfilling. Your in-laws may have:
Publicly praised you;
Met emotional needs that your own parents didn’t or couldn’t fulfill;
Financially supported you;
Given you expensive or meaningful gifts;
Been present and supportive for important milestones;
Supported you during difficult times of your marriage while you were still committed to “staying together”.
As a result, you may have felt deeply connected and bonded to them.
The Narcissistic Discard
When separation, divorce, and custody issues arise, narcissistic in-laws notoriously take the opposite stance to how they once portrayed their relationship with the victim.
Instead of praising them as a good parent, they will discredit, lie, accuse, and attack.
Instead of support, they may harass, stalk, and even physically assault the survivor.
Here is what I know to be true: public image is everything to these people and many of their tactics were designed to keep you in the web and to keep the issues behind closed doors. When one of their own is under attack, they unite and become as thick as thieves. You are now a threat to their image and to their family; the gloves are off and you have been declared the enemy.
For many victims who depended on their in-laws for parental support and love, this can feel like a deeper betrayal than anything they’ve experienced so far.
If you are feeling the pain and abandonment of the narcissistic discard with your ex in-laws, know that you’re not alone. Their treatment of you does not reflect who you are, your worth, or your capacity to love and be loved.
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Divorcing a narcissist? Welcome, you've come to the right place.
The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist and I prevailed. You can read more about me here.
