MSA with a Narcissist

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If you don't find humor in the madness of divorcing a narcissist, you will likely crumble. Admittedly, sometimes humor comes more easily that other times. It was difficult for me to find humor during the times I was worried about my children's safety. As I was preparing for an appointment with our new evaluator this week, I stumbled across Seth's original MSA proposal and I had to laugh. It reminded me of the insane prenup he tried to make me sign.

Number 7 is a doozy. Grab your popcorn. Seth, Seth, Seth.....shaking my head.

Tina,

These are the factors the court addresses

1) Child custody

2) Financial support

3) Asset division

This will be divorce.This is obviously not a separation as you have moved onto a boyfriend already.

1. Children’s’ homedoes not change. They like it here. 222 Hillcrest is the family address. Custody legal and custodial is 50/50. I come Friday at 10 pm. I wait in my caruntil you get in your car and leave. You return Tuesday 8 AM. I wait in my caruntil you arrive. The girls see you hug you and go in with you. Every 6 -8weeks, one week we alternate. I have some Trade Shows, and races I have to beat during the weekend. Thus, I will be here working during your time Tuesday at8 am through Friday at 10 pm on those specific weeks.

2. Court calculatordecides support if any for you. It will only be for half the length of themarriage, or when you get married whichever happens first.

a) I pay 75% ofeducation, activities food for girls, medical, insurance, clothes forgirls September 2009 -September 2010. You pay 25%

b) We each pay 50%of education, activities food for girls, medical, insurance, clothes forgirls September 2010 -September 2025. I pay 50% You pay 50%  If wecan't each afford an activity it can't happen.

3. I pay rent$1300 and you pay $500. I live upstairs. You live in your room.  I leaveTuesday at 8 am and return Friday.  If you need to stay here, use thesliding door and don't interact with us during my time with the children. Utilitiesare split 50/50.

4. Assets likeremaining furniture, Refrigerator, washer, dryer, utensils plates etc staywherever girls live. 

5. We agree to nothave the girls around the other's partner at all prior to dating for aminimum of 12 months. The girls do not need to see you be affectionate with abunch of men in their lives.  It is pretty clear fromhistory resisting "Public Displays of Affection" won't beproblem for me.

6. You get $5000 inthe next 30 days. I get the exact ring and diamond with laser inscribed codematching certificate that I bought for you 8 years ago.

7.  If someonegets married the girls live with the person not married. This would be tooconfusing for them.  The other spouse visits at the home the girls arecomfortable in.  The married partner may visit at that time but not sleepover.  This stays in place until girls are 10 or both partners aremarried.

8. Christmas morningis spent with me and my mom since she fly back home every year for thismorning. This is what the girls have experienced thus far for every Christmas.Christmas eve and after 1 pm Christmas day is with you. Thanksgiving is with meand my family ---my brother Jason not allowed.  You get all the other holidays.

9. Birthday partiesare at a neutral location (never at the others home) both parents attend andpartners are allowed.

10. You may not movemore than 220 miles from my place of work regardless of your job opportunities,desires or relationships. It is barely reasonable as it is for me to drive 9hours every week to see the girls.

11. No silly rules inthe home, no future slander and defamation, no gathering evidence for morecustody, all future provisions for custody changes are waived.

12. Every person,relative or friend, spending more than 8 hours with the girls must sign on anon-defamation agreement regarding each parent. 

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Everyday is a Full Moon with a Narcissist

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Yellow Rock: Communicating with a Narcissist in a Child Custody Situation