Here’s How to Make Valentine’s Day About YOU If You’re a Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse
Valentine’s Day can be a triggering holiday if you were in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser. Learn how to make it a day that celebrates your independence and authentic beauty.
Many survivors of narcissistic abuse experience triggering emotions of Valentine’s Day as a result of the narcissist’s abusive behaviors.
Reclaiming this holiday as a day of self-care and self-compassion can be an empowering way to work toward healing.
Give Yourself Permission to Simply Be
One beautifully simple way to celebrate yourself on Valentine’s Day is to do what the narcissist likely never allowed - and simply be.
Don’t worry about how you look, how much you accomplish, or how the day feels to everyone else in your life.
Take your time, eat what you want when you want, and check in with yourself throughout the day with questions like, “What is my body telling me I need right now?”
Offer Yourself an Abundance of Love & Compassion
Rather than focusing on outward expressions of romance, consider spending Valentine’s Day surrounding yourself with self-love and understanding.
Here are some ideas:
Tape loving affirmations to your bathroom mirror
Write a love letter to yourself
Spend the day doing simple activities that make you feel healthy and whole
Create a vision board
Watch a favorite movie
Invite Family & Friends to Support You
If you have a strong support network of family and friends, consider letting them know that this holiday has been difficult. Let them know that phone calls, texts, visits, or outings may be helpful in your journey toward self-love. Be specific as to what you know you don’t want, and clear about boundaries and expectations for what you do want to include.
Most holidays are triggering for survivors. Please give yourself grace and compassion as you navigate this holiday.
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Divorcing a narcissist? Welcome, you've come to the right place.
The fine print: I am not qualified to give you (or anyone) legal advice, I recommend consulting with your attorney. Your attorney is your voice and your advocate in the family court system.
About me: My name is Tina Swithin. I am a survivor and I am a mom who "gets it.” While acting as my own attorney, I successfully protected my children in a system that is best described as “inhumane,” I am a blogger, a divorce coach and a fierce advocate for reform in the family court system. I divorced a narcissist and I prevailed. You can read more about me here.
