Why I know I am stronger
I recently met a woman who reminds me of myself 2.5 years ago. She is in the beginning stages of her divorce and she has the same look I used to have-- the scared, caged animal look. The constant fear-- always looking over your shoulder. Never knowing where the next "assault" was going to come from-- email, text, phone or in person. Never knowing if "he" was going to be lurking in my neighborhood or peering through my window. It's not a fun way to live and my heart goes out to all of the beautiful woman who have recently taken their first steps on this journey.I don't have the answers but I wish that I could explain to these women what I do know: You will look back on this one day and feel strong. I wouldn't have believed it at the time but I know it as truth. Today, I feel strong. (Yes, that warranted a "BOLD" command)I opened my email this morning and there was an email from "him".Not too long ago, I would have cringed at the sight of his name in my inbox. My heart would have started pounding as I skimmed the email for anything important. I would have started shaking as I read the series of assaults-- attacking my looks, my weight, my significant other, my family, my job, my lack of a college degree, etc....on...and....on. I would have forwarded it to my family members and then I would have been "on edge" for hours. Shaken.Not today.Today, he doesn't have that power. I am strong.I opened the email and it was almost predictable-- an intro about tomorrow's visitation and then a series of threats and attacks.I had emailed him this week about calling me T-Rex in front of the girls. My email was very brief-- I said that obviously, he is entitled to feel anyway he wants but please don't talk poorly about me in front of the girls.He acknowledged that he calls me T-Rex and then dove straight into his normal ramblings and threats:
He accused me of quizzing the girls about their visits so they feel they must "tell" on their dad. They are confused. That is why my daughter told me about his name-calling.
I am purposefully creating a Parental Alienation Syndrome.
He is planning to report me to Child Welfare Services since the judge won't listed to his complaint about my blog.
Why I know I am stronger-- I see through him. I can almost predict him. He doesn't affect me any longer. I opened his email and it didn't bother me at all. In a way, I feel pity for him. 1. He spins everything back and is unable to accept fault for anything. This is who he is to his core. He admitted to calling me "T-Rex" but then spun it around so that it is my fault that my daughter told me about it. I watched him do this in every situation through our marriage-- with employees, banks, family and friends.2. His threats don't work anymore. Child Welfare Services? Parental Alienation Syndrome? Please.3. He then went on to attack me for still using an email with my married name in the address. "Do you have another email that does not have (my name) in the address? The judge gave you back your maiden name months ago".I saw the email...I read the email...I closed the email. No feelings elicited. No heart pounding. Nothing.I see him for who he is and I've given up on the hope that he can act in a healthy, rational manner.I have come a long way from that caged animal look that I once wore. I am strong today and I will be strong tomorrow.###One Mom's Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.History of One Mom's Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina's battle spanned from 2009 - 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a "sociopath" and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin's books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles. [wp_ad_camp_1]