Steps to Ponder...
In mid-July, I came across an email written to "him" from one of my in-laws. Specifically, it was his Aunt who is employed as a court advocate for children. In this particular email, she was instructing him on steps to take in order to paint a positive picture for the courts. The title of her email was "Steps to Ponder".These are a few of the "tips" that she recommended (cut and pasted below)...based on her knowledge of the family court system:###I think you have to take away Tina's ability to paint you as a neglectful, alcoholic dad. In order, to defend against her charges re your drinking and endangering the children, I think that you would be wise at this time...... to do somethings differently.If you drink in SLO at the house... put any and all evidence in your duffel bag and take it as trash away from the house. Do stop drinking anywhere... Tina or her pals can see it or find bottles or caps.The family law system will discount family members as being biased to your side. SO, you need to cultivate someone, who sees you with the girls and who will attest to this if needed. a) another family that you meet now and socialize with with the girls on weekends... b) a counselor of your choosing, who is pro-father... c) priest, minister d) a teacher/mentor at a Parenting Center###At this point, I knew it was time for the battle gear. I realized that I was not only dealing with one scary and manipulative person-- I was dealing with a family of people who would lie and manipulate to come out on top. She wasn't giving him general advice....she knew he has a problem with alcohol (and still does to this day) and she knew there was no one in the world who could attest to his parenting. She told him to "cultivate" someone. He followed her advice. Shortly after this email, he began setting up play dates with a local chiropractor on the weekends. This person did end up testifying for "him" in court-- he had been played. Just like I had for all of these years.I armed myself with the truth, an amazing support system and I began to pray...a lot.###One Mom's Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.History of One Mom's Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina's battle spanned from 2009 - 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a "sociopath" and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin's books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat. Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles. [wp_ad_camp_1]