Going to Battle for my Daughters: Court Tomorrow

I sit here watching my little "Peach" while she plays at the park.  I am working on my laptop and she is pushing the merry-go-round.  She yelled over her shoulder, "Love you, Mom" and my heart melted.   Tears filled my eyes which seems to be a reoccurring issue this morning.I have so many mixed emotions right now.  I feel like tomorrow could be the day that I get what I've been asking for: supervised visitation.I picked up a statement this morning from my daughter's therapist and was overwhelmed with emotions.  I knew the basis of what she was going to say but to actually read it in writing...well...it hurt.  Badly.I felt physically ill when I read it.  She spoke of the confusion and anxiety that my daughter expressed while talking about her father hitting her and the photo of me that is covered in blue taped at his home.  She addressed the issue of her father berating me in her presence and the effect it is having on her.She is a six-year old little girl who should be consumed with how fast she can push the merry-go-round yet she is carrying burdens that only an adult is equipped to deal with.Why do I have mixed emotions?  In my naive heart of hearts, I have always held out hope that he would pull himself together.  That he would hit rock bottom and realize what he has done.  That he would see the two amazing little girls in front of him and choose to do the right thing.  I hoped that he would stop seeing them as possessions.I hoped that he would be their dad.I've lost that hope.  I don't think that he is healthy enough to be a dad and I don't hold out the hope that he can in the future.  I have to let all of that go.  Some parts of the anger and hatred is slowly turning to pity for him-- that he is too mentally damaged to see what he is doing and what he has done in the past few years.I received a card from my church this morning.  I had asked them to pray for me after last week's service on forgiveness.  The card said, "May you always have the courage to set boundaries and do whatever it takes to protect your daughters.  God will give you great strength and boldness."   I needed to hear that message today above all others.  Fighting to protect my daughters is what I am supposed to do--it's my job is as their mother.Last night I stayed up late completing my court declaration and I filed all of the paperwork this morning.  In that paperwork, I have spoken from my heart-- not out of anger or hatred but as a mother who is doing what she is supposed to do.Now, it is in the hands of the court and God.Please say a prayer...send good thoughts...sprinkle pixie dust or whatever you feel comfortable with.We could use it right now.###One Mom's Battle: Our mission at One Mom’s Battle is to increase awareness of Cluster B personality disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder) and their impact upon shared parenting and the Family Court System which includes Judges, CPS workers, Guardian ad Litems (GAL), Parenting Coordinators (PC), Custody Evaluators, therapists and attorneys. Education on Cluster B disorders will allow these professionals to truly act in the best interest of the children.History of One Mom's Battle: In 2009, One Mom’s Battle began with one mother, (Tina Swithin), navigating the choppy waters of a high-conflict divorce in the Family Court System. Since then, it has turned into a grassroots movement reaching the far corners of the Earth. Tina's battle spanned from 2009 - 2014 during which time she acted as her own attorney. Ultimately, Tina was successful in protecting her daughters and her family has enjoyed complete peace since October 2014 when a Family Court commissioner called her ex-husband a "sociopath" and revoked his parenting time in a final custody order.Tina Swithin: Divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin's books are available online at Amazon (print, Kindle or audio format). Each year, Tina offers life-changing weekends of camaraderie and healing at the Lemonade Power Retreat.  Tina also offers one-on-one coaching services and a private, secure forum called, The Lemonade Club, for those enduring high-conflict custody battles. [wp_ad_camp_1]