Divorcing a Narcissist: Ex Parte Hearing Tomorrow
by Tina SwithinHurricane Seth is back in full force.The first supervised visit on Saturday was too much for the girls. The visit was one hour in duration and it had been 15-months since the girls had seen him.During the visit, Seth brought his laptop. Why does this not shock me? If I had been away from my children for 15-months, or 15-days for that matter, the LAST thing I would want to bring was my laptop. As he asked them questions, he typed in their responses. Some questions were simple - what is your favorite color, who is your best friend and then the question that rocked my daughters: who is your teacher? They are terrified that he will show up at the school and worse, go to their classrooms. They know he has followed our car, etc and the thought of giving him personal details began to worry them more and more as it sunk in.He also brought pictures. Not just a few but an entire bin of photos. Many of you have read my previous blog about pictures - Seth uses photos to capture and prove love. If he and the girls were smiling in a photo, that captures the love and gives him proof. This has been an ongoing issue - he used to go to the girls preschool and force the teachers to look at photos of he and the girls. Social cues don't seem to register with him, or most narcissists for that matter so despite how forced and uncomfortable the interactions are, Seth needs people to see photos that prove and capture the one thing he is incapable of: real love. The girls said it was awkward and uncomfortable. They are old enough now to know that love is something you feel. For that, I am thankful.The visit caused stress and anxiety which has manifested in a variety of ways. Fearing the increase in time - from one hour to two hours and fearing that this could repeat up to six times per month (1st, 3rd and 5th weekends- Saturdays AND Sundays), I decided to act. I have filed an emergency hearing which is on calendar for tomorrow morning, I am asking the courts to reduce the visits to one visit per month. Minor's counsel had a call with the girls' therapist and supervisor and together, they came up with a plan of two visits per month -- each visit being an hour in duration for the first 30-days and then increasing to 1.5 hours after 30 days. They are also requesting that Seth is ordered to meet with the girls' therapist who has been an angel in our lives...and someone who "gets it.Late this afternoon, I received Seth's response to my emergency motion -- sent from his attorney, Vinnie Slaromon. My favorite part of Seth's declaration was this:"I am requesting assistance from the court to allow adequate time for me to visit with our daughters in order to rebuild a meaningful relationship with them after a long time of interference by Ms. Swithin."Really?Interference?Does he think that the court will buy into this?!He disappears for 15-months and even that is MY fault?Of course it is. I am dealing with a Narcissist.I have enjoyed 15-months of peace and now I am putting the battle gear back on. Stay tuned for the most recent email which is currently being processed in the "Narc Decoder"....###“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter.Seeking a Private Forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina and the Lemonade Warriors in The Lemonade Club! For information, please email Tina@onemomsbattle.comSeeking a Divorce Coach for your high-conflict divorce and custody battle? Tina Swithin will help you to establish boundaries and regain your power. Contact Tina Swithin at Tina Swithin, LLCSeeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books, “Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle” and her new book "Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield" are available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries, navigate your way through the divorce and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.[wp_ad_camp_1]