A Deep Breath

This week will go down in history as the week I was able to take a deep breath.Last Wednesday was court and on Friday morning, I woke up with a huge sense of relief.  It was the first morning that I woke up and didn't feel the need to plan for my next court date or mentally prepare for the next visitation.  I didn't have to worry about my daughters.  After living this nightmare for three years, I can honestly say that this week was peaceful.I feel like a 165lb weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  I mean that literally.  I had two coffee dates with friends.  I told "my rock" that I promised to be nicer again.  He replied by saying, "I think you are already nice so I'm interested to see how much nicer you can get!"  I got completely caught up with work and I'm even ahead of the game a bit.  I went to a BBQ with three girlfriends and our eight little girls and was able to be present and enjoy the moment.I also sat my daughters down and explained our new arrangement: supervised visits.  I waited almost a week until I could gather my thoughts and think of a way to explain the situation at their level.  I told them that from now on, they would have a "buddy" with them at their weekend visits.  They would still get to see their dad but it would be at a fun place like a park or a children's museum.  I explained that the buddy was kind of like "Jane" (their therapist).  My oldest daughter paused and then said, "Good.  I think I will feel safer going with dad from now on".Out of the mouths of babes.

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