Remembering to be Thankful

Remembering to be Thankful

I will be the first to admit that sometimes I am not as thankful as I should be.  I need reminders.  Living with an “attitude of gratitude” is constant work however, it makes a world of difference.  With my recent court battles, I have become a bit discouraged and I need to focus on the positives more then ever.

  • I get discouraged by my battle only to hear from a woman in Ireland who can’t speak publicly about her situation.  The thought of that breaks my heart.  I was reminded that I have the freedom to speak publicly in my country and for that, I am thankful.
  • I got discouraged last night when I received an email from a well-meaning woman who pointed out my spelling & grammatical errors only to suggest that I find someone to copy-edit for me.  I kindly explained to her that many of my blogs are written in between loads of laundry and work projects- that this isn’t the way I earn a living but my personal journal.  Instead of feeling discouraged and judged, I need to be thankful for my laptop and the ability to spell check which catches most of my errors.  I can’t imagine the emails I would receive otherwise!  🙂
  • I get frustrated with all of the things my daughters have had to endure through this battle.  I need to stop and be thankful for the fact that they have handled it so well.  I need to be thankful for the people who have come into our lives because of this battle.
  • I often hear from women who are terrified to start dating again because of their experience with the Narcissist in their lives.  They want to know how I got the courage to put myself out there again.  I need to remember to be thankful for the honest, amazing, kind, loving man who landed in front of me and to never, ever take him for granted.
  • I look back at the chaos of the past ten years and I shake my head in disbelief.  I think of the past three years and resonate on how much my life has changed.   Despite the tribulations, I would go through it all again to be where I am today.  I look forward to the next ten years and for that, I am thankful.

What are YOU thankful for?

8 Responses

  1. I am also thankful for living in a country where women are allowed to speak up, even if it takes a bit to be heard. I am mostly thankful I am in a safe environment with my children. I try to look at the positives often so that I don’t drown in all the negatives. Thanks for the reminder :). Happy Friday everyone!

  2. xxx Im greateful to you Tina! The reason we cannot speak in Ireland is because of something called the “in camera rule” this means all family law proceedings take place behind closed doors with a total ban on discussing the case or the proceedings or on reporting. I was shocked when I heard that there are the same assumptions and bullish lazy attitudes in the US as here but at least because of your freedom to speak I could read about it. My ex is a wife beater convicted bigamist dissapator of assets perjurer and enjoyes his NPD as something which makes him feel superior to mere humans who have emotions and empathy. My children are a pawn in this game for him, the courts have no idea how to deal with this so its easier to blame the woman for raising very valid concerns for protection of her childre. I have been dragged through courts over 30 times in two hears sometimes he managed to have me in 2 courts on the one day. Today was one of those days. On top of this Ireland is a timy country and there are very close connections. I have been before 13 different judges all bar the last who saw fit to keep access as supervised and then last year it was removed enitrely. The final hearing I was in court for 4 days against a legal team of 4. I presented school, police, accountants, and a number of there solid independent witnesses who were utterly abused and dismissed I was not allowed cross examine or see certain documents from an expert whom my ex paid 15K euro. The judgment was appalling, he was rewarded on every level to the smirks of himself and his family who boasted their legal connections. The children had not heard from him by phone or e mail for over 2 years, no birthdays, no christmas. They were traumatised and I was threatened with prison if they did not go on access. He informed them that he was already married to someone else (a bigamist) and told them if he told me I would be put in a mad house or a prison. My 11 year old lost 4 kgs in weight and they planned on running away to protect me and so they wouldn’t see him. He was arrested for his 3rd breach of a protection order and within an hour the same court judge actually faxed the police herself and he was let go. I issued an appeal to high courts and the next day he met in an exparte meeting with the judge and she dragged me back to court again with the threat of prison. Thankfuly I got a legal team which they were not expecting. The judge ordered a psychiatric report by the brother or the crimial solicitor firm of the doctot. It was obvious he was set to justify this judges flawed order with an expert report. This morning I was dragged back to court and the doctors findings which I had already predicted to my incredulous legal team was revealed. I am a “parent alienator” I have “irrational fears” he is perfect the children should be given full custody to him..even though myself and the children have received recorded death threats..the tires on my car have been slashed before court and so have my electrics been cut and petrol emptied, my legal team were fantastic (but so expensive!) and we managed to argue that she had no jurisdiction, we got to the high court running and things became sane again, the caliber of judge was different and hopefully at the next hearing he will retain jurisdiction. Lets see. So yes be greatful that you can share. I have done so a little now and maybe I shouldn’t there is so much I cannot say. But I am not going to stand by and allow my children suffer under a dangerous man and a flawed currupt system that neither understands but none the less supports him. I have asked for the court recordings…. lets see what happens….. they are usually never given….
    A large salary goes a long way in supporting legal abuse.
    And hey I have written this exhausted… so if you have the time you can go edit my spellings too……… 🙂

  3. I am praying for you! (I will find the time to edit your spellings when I get to my own….probably never) 🙂

  4. L it almost seems as if you are being punished by the courts for not having legal counsel? Good luck to you and your children. Do your best to keep legal counsel, seems like you need to in order to be protected from the court’s abuse.

  5. I have been to court over 30 times before this hearing all other judges seemed busy but fair supervised access was deemed necessary and then it was removed totally last year from him. At the hearing however which lasted 5 days they actually had a judge removed to get the pne they preferred and brought in a total of 4 legal team against me. I had as witnesses the police schools etc all solid and independent all were abused completely by the Judge. It appears there are strong connections between this Judge and her ruling was so extreme that I just froze in shock. I appealed as is my constitutional right and I have also requested the court recordings which are usually never given. As a counter act I was dragged back to the lower court 4 times to try to stop my high court appeal and for her to keep jurisdiction and control and she hand picked this psyologist a brother of my ex’s legal team to do a report which was totally damining to myself and the children. His recommendations were basically to hand full custody over to my ex who for a start is hardly ever in the country? This is after 2 years of judges deeming him unsafe with them. Yesterday she called us to court at the same time as the high court trying to block us. Whats even worse is she has been moved to another county court and came down just especially. Please god now its finally being heard in the High Court that they will take over jurisdiction. I am not just up against a violent NPD who is set to destroy myself and the children even if he destroys himself but his very well connected low integrity family and their legal contacts. Who are counting on breaking me down. I feel safer having my legal team but I think even they are overwhelmed by what is being thrown at us out of the laws of natural justice behind the closed doors of the in camera law curtain. If I had not had them yesterday I would have had my children removed from me. That would have destroyed them, they think I can protect them.