Divorcing a Narcissist: Anxiety in a Cup

Divorcing a Narcissist: Anxiety in a Cup

coffeeI remember using one of those fun Facebook apps at the end of 2011 which calculated the top five words that I used during the year.  My top word was “coffee.”   Anyone who knows me would testify with their hand on a bible that I am an addict.  I remember the first taste out of my grandmothers coffee cup (lots of cream and lots of sugar) – I was sold at the age of four!  My fiance recently told one of our pastors that I am the only person he knows that orders a “quad plus one” in my drinks….yes, that equates to FIVE shots of espresso.  Two of my dear friends own coffee shops in town and on one extreme occasion (sick child and huge court project), my friend Brett even delivered a bag of coffee to my front door!  Self admitted caffeine junkie.

I love everything about coffee- the smell, the taste, the feeling of that warm cup in my hand, the comfort it brings, the experience of sitting in coffee shops.  On January 5th I sat talking to my best friend, Meadow who was looking quite radiant at the time- skin glowing, energy abundant and…alive!  She boasted about a cleanse that she has started weeks before and by the end of the night, I was committed to give it a try.  I went home and read more about it online– no coffee, no wine, no…anything.  This cleanse required veggies, green drinks and extreme amounts of willpower.  Extreme.  Glenn agreed to do this with me and I credit him for keeping me on the wagon for this three week endeavor.  I almost jumped ship a few times.

The first three days without my coffee bean fix was excruciating.  I thought I was doing okay on day four until I opened my fridge and saw them staring at me.  Chocolate covered espresso beans= the devil morphed into candy form!  I pulled through and began to notice changes– I had more energy, I woke up alert and ready to tackle the day, I didn’t have energy crashes and I felt really good.  The biggest difference: no more anxiety.  For me, coffee was the cause of my day-to-day anxiety — and I had no idea.  I still have the normal anxiety before court (I had the court date from hell on Tuesday- more about that later) but my days are more calm and peaceful.  Truth be told, until recently I didn’t even know that I had anxiety- I thought that those feelings were just a part of me!

I hear from so many women on the board who suffer with anxiety — it is normal when you are living in this type of battle.  I can tell you from experience to “step away from the coffee cup” — green tea is my new friend.  The unexpected bonus: I dropped 10 lbs in less than three weeks, lots of energy, no heavy feeling — I feel great!   Here is an article about food and drinks that can trigger anxiety.  If you are experiencing anxiety….giving up coffee is something that you may want to consider as it worked wonders for me.  With a cup of green tea in my hand, cheers!  Tina

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Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.”  You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to decode the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

 

 

5 Responses

  1. I am new to your blog. Read the whole thing in one weekend and all I can say is I can replace your name with mine and this would be my story! I’ve wanted to write to you sooner and thank you for your blog. I just wish I knew about this N word 15 years ago! Maybe my life would be different had I understood.

    Anyway, good going on giving up coffee! I did a 60 day cleanse, or juice, last January and not only rebooted my body but my mind as well. There are a lot of foods that just do not appeal to me any longer! Amazing what foods can do! Keep up the good work, and the hard work. I admire what you are doing for you and your daughters!

  2. Thank you, Jennifer! Totally agree with you on the cleanse– life changing for me. I also discovered that i am allergic to wine!

  3. Hi Tina, do you mind sharing the name of the cleanse you did? I am intrigued and very interested to try it. Thank you for your amazing website. =)