Our last custody evaluation was done in 2010 and I feel like I am about to relive the insanity of it all. Back then, there were no patterns established and I honestly was in the dark about why our divorce was so crazy. I heard well-meaning people tell me that men can go a bit crazy during divorce and while I wanted to believe them, I knew there was something more to it.
The child custody evaluation was like being in a bad dream. X refused to cooperate and begin the paperwork as ordered because he was in the process of staging a home for the evaluation. Staging a home isn’t just done in real estate. It is also done in custody evaluations. X missed the deadline to comply by a few months and only when we were about to go back in front of the Commissioner did he contact Family Court Services. By that time, the home was staged and he was ready to show them what a great father he was.
He actually wrote the following in a declaration to the court:
I apologize to the court for the delay in beginning the evaluation. Until recently, a stable home was not available for the minor children and it is assumed that this is essential for the custody evaluation.
In 2010, I remember listening to the evaluator tell me how cute x’s little cottage was. She went onto say that he kept pictures of me in the home to show the girls that they are free to love both parents equally. At that point, I knew she had drank the kool-aid. If I told her how I really felt then I appeared to be the bitter wife. I remember telling her that I slept with a hammer because I was afraid of him and she gave me a look that told me she didn’t get it. Fast forward to January 2012 and this is the same man who kept a photo of me on his fireplace mantel covered in blue tape. Was that to show the girls that they are free to love both parents equally also?
Ironically, Seth filed a change of address for on July 6, 2010 — just 12 days after the evaluation ended and vacated his staged home. Seth has not had a home in our county since the 2010 custody evaluation….until now. I have given both the declaration and the change of address forms from 2010 to the evaluator and once in hand, they are impossible to deny.
Patterns have now been established and there is no denying the reality. I am now watching as x stages yet another home for the evaluation with the help of his family. The girls told me that they spent time at his storage unit over the weekend and x brought all of the old furniture into the house along with their toys. After the staged home in 2010, his landlord, months later admitted that Seth staged the last home for the evaluation. He also said that he was an “incredibly unstable psychopath” and that he was sorry I had to deal with such an unstable person.
I am hoping and praying that this evaluator sees the very clear patterns that have been established.
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