Category Archives: Uncategorized

Peter Cook and Suzanne Shaw Divorce: Cheating Again

Peter Cook and Suzanne Shaw Divorce: Cheating Again

peterby Tina Swithin

This one can be labeled  under, “We all saw it coming” but, I will be honest in saying that the marriage of Peter Cook and Suzanne Shaw Cook lasted much longer than I expected. Following a case like this can be somewhat boring because all narcissists use the same playbook (yaaawnnnn). In the beginning of the case, Peter took responsibility for his actions in a way that only narcissists do: I’m sorry but it was all Christie’s fault that I strayed. A half-ass apology and then victim blaming. Typical.

Peter then quickly moved on to Suzanne Shaw because, as we all know, they can’t be without Narcissistic Supply for very long. Suzanne quickly jumped on the “bash Christie” bandwagon and became Peter’s prized minion carrying out his dirty work and bashing and blaming Christie at every opportunity. The goal for Peter was to stay in the spotlight while carrying out his main agenda: hurting the woman who first saw through  him.  In predictable narcissistic fashion, Peter holds Christie responsible for the public lashing he took when it was discovered that he had carried on a two year affair with Diana Bianchi. This two-year affair was discovered when Ms. Bianchi was 17-years old. I will let you do the math on her age when the affair began.

Do I blame Suzanne Shaw? I don’t blame her because I have been charmed by an individual like Peter Cook and have since dedicated my life to raising awareness on the topic of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Peter Cook was diagnosed by a court appointed psychiatrist as an “insatiable narcissist” with a porn habit costing thousands of dollars per month. Described in today’s NY Post article as “a cheater” and a “creep” along with words like “narcissist” and “desperate,” I’m not usually one to say, “I told you so” but in this situation, we all knew it was a matter of time….

This current issue with Peter Cook goes to show the depths of his illness and evil. As early as last week, he was still groveling to the National Enquirer about Christie Brinkley because at this point, that is the only media outlet who will listen to his rants and all the while, his marriage secretly ended back in February according to media reports. This man is so hell-bent on trying to destroy Christie Brinkley’s reputation and so arrogant that he hoped that no one would pick up on the fact that he continued to jump from one woman to another while sporting a wedding ring. Peter Cook is the definition of vile.

I hope this serves as a teachable moment for all women dating. Pay attention to internal red flags when dating and pay attention to external red flags – such as the words and experiences of others who have walked before you. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck….it might just be a duck. If it sleeps in other women’s beds like a narcissist (while married) and talks (lies, projects and re-creates reality) like a narcissist….it might just be a narcissist.

It will be interesting to see if we hear more from Suzanne Shaw, my guess based on the statement by Peter’s attorney leads me to believe that Suzanne has been hushed with a narcissist’s most prized possession: money.

###

“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter.

Seeking a Private Forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina and the Lemonade Warriors in The Lemonade Club!  For information, please email Tina@onemomsbattle.com

Seeking a Divorce Coach for your high-conflict divorce and custody battle? Contact Tina Swithin at Tina Swithin, LLC

Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle” and her new book “Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield” are available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries, navigate your way through the divorce and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

Juggling Life with a Narcissist

Juggling Life with a Narcissist

juggling-womanHow many balls are you juggling at the moment?

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you’re keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball.  If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls…are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.” (James Patterson)   

I have taken a quiet back burner to writing for a few weeks.  I love writing, so why did I think it was too overwhelming to try and share some of my thoughts?  Because once again (albeit this is happening less and less, and with more time in-between) I let all of the current dramatic noise from the ExN exhaust and consume me.  And I know better than this!  He’s been on a role with the lawyers and court lately – and although I have (still) tried to believe that one of these days we really could work things out together rather than continue down this long road – I have finally reached a breaking point in realizing that us working together is never going to happen.  If I’m wrong about this, then great, I will look forward to admitting that someday.  But as I read each email from him with increased suspicion, wondering what he is trying to document and what he is coming at me with next, I know more and more that there is just no changing those well-defined permanent Narcissistic stripes.

Juggling five balls is about the balance in your life.  You have to keep your health, your family, you friends and your integrity/spirit in the air and intact.  I heard this story at a speech I attended recently for work.  It resonated with me from an actual career perspective, but the more this story lingered in my head, the more I realized how dealing with the ExN over these past several years really has been my true life “work”.  The work we all do to keep ourselves going in what seems like a never-ending process in dealing with all of the ExN’s of life is metaphorically the light, bouncy rubber ball; yet sometimes it feels like the heaviest ball of them all to keep in balance, let alone keep up in the air.

As I sit here preparing my financial statements again, for my upcoming court appearance again, and wondering what is going to happen when we face the judge yet again, that rubber ball is feeling more like a very heavy brick.  I know I need to be as prepared as I can and do what I need to do for my “work” right now.  I know that regardless of how tired I am, how much money this is costing me, how many papers I have to prepare and how much of an energy and resource drain this is for all parties involved (well, except one party, who thrives on all this), I know I need to persevere and do my best. Past doing that, I cannot control or predict anything else that is going to happen ahead.  I do know that I need to be especially aware of my actions, my mood and my energy level this week so that I do not let the other glass balls in my life start to fall and negatively affect others, even a little bit.

I thought about this quote I read once:  Nothing happens in our lives or in the world without purpose.  In other words, no matter how difficult the situation we are all facing, there is some purpose.  I have a history of a mentally abusive childhood that I didn’t even comprehend until I was an adult.  Then I did what was natural to me by marrying someone who treated me the way I was used to being treated.  Right or wrong, that is what I knew.  And, just like the ExN and I are “never-ever-ever-getting-back-together”; we are also never ever going to be able to communicate effectively, reach agreements, or have any sort of “co-parenting” anything without the assistance of hired professional help.   Sad?  Yes.  Exhausting?  Sure.  But it is what it is, and I don’t think the situation is ever going to change.  I must deal with it as it is: an every day part of my life, just like getting up, making my kid’s PB&Js, kissing them goodbye when they go to school, and telling my new husband how much I love him for “getting me,” and being willing and so amazing to put up with me as I continue to learn, self-discover, and deal with this never ending ExN situation.

Take this week to remember some of your favorite quotes or sayings about things happening for a reason, the universe having a plan for you, doing good and good will come to you, and choosing to be unstoppable.  Know that no matter how hard the rubber-ball hits the bottom surface with these continued ExN battles, if you do your best “work”, things WILL eventually and someday bounce back.   Remember to nurture the most important glass aspects of your life – your family, friends, health and spirit – because with that balance intact, there is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

~ LLS ~  Lucy K.

###

“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter.

Seeking a private forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina at The Lemonade Club!

Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s book, Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle” is available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Divorcing a Narcissist: GOOD-BYE MR. NARCISSIST

Divorcing a Narcissist: GOOD-BYE MR. NARCISSIST
photoGOOD-BYE MR. NARCISSIST
by Barbara- Warrior Mom at OMBI am the Windex
To my Narcissist’s mirror
Not to make it shiny
But to make the truth clearer

For NNN is delusional
Reality he does fear
I once was his victim
Now, my life I must steer

I asked you Mr. Narcissist
What you wanted from me
As I refused to crawl lower
On this bended knee

And you NNN did nothing
But yell, punch, and rant
I’m telling you now Mr. Narcissist
I refuse, I just CAN’T!!!

I’m saving my children
Feeding them empathy and air
So go act all entitled
And stare in your mirror

We’ve moved to the future
The one you so fear
We’ve taken our feelings
The ones we’ve made clear

So Good-Bye Mr. Narcissist
Take comfort in your stare
I’ll spit on your mirror
And even leave you a chair

You took what you wanted
But I’ve got your best
PLEASE stare in your mirror
DO puff out your chest

Your rage is not welcomed
Projections – No More!!!
You’ve run out of batteries
Because we were your store

Our future looks brighter
With your triangulations all gone
Denial is YOUR highway
While we rejoice on green lawn

Go ahead and feel envy, covet, and spite
For these children by my side
All know what is right
While we ride off into the sunset
And out goes your tide
A false-self is your keeper
A reality you can no longer hide

I’m going NO CONTACT
So we’ll communicate no more
For you Mr. Narcissist
Are just one giant chore

All we asked for was loving
Which just strengthened your shame
We were all heart
While you were just GAME

Yes!!!  Yes!!!  Mr. Narcissist…
It is Good-bye!!!
For YOU are disordered!!!
And that is NO lie!!!

###
Barbara’s Bio: At one time or another, I have found myself in and out of every imaginable muddy trench a narcissist can create.  Now in my 5th decade of life, I have escaped the dark cloud of narcissism that has loomed overhead.  With the help, guidance, support, and friendship of some amazing and skillful individuals, I see sunshine.  A parent and two husbands, totaling nearly 33 years of wedded “unbliss”, will no longer darken my days.  A former special education teacher, I have survived the torturous rigors of a full psychological/custody evaluation, gaining FULL custody of my children, whom I have parented alone for over a decade.  I have never “battled” over my children, but I will always “battle” for them.  I have chosen to trade in my once worn suit of protective armor for sunscreen, walking every day forward, vulnerable, in the California Sunshine.

###

“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter

Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s book, Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle” is available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.