Category Archives: Mr. OMB

Mr. OMB: From the Beginning

Mr. OMB: From the Beginning

my storyby Mr. OMB (Tina’s Husband)

There has been a lot of interest in how Tina and I developed and continue to maintain a healthy relationship while the battles rage around us, ours and yours. The basic question is, what advice would I give to someone in my shoes…?

My reaction is always the same: We all wear different shoes. Our stories are different. The variables that make up our experiences and guide our decisions on any given issue are different. I am the only one who understands what I’ve done, what I’ve been through.

Sound familiar?

That’s how Tina felt when she started writing. That’s how most of you felt before you found this site. The problem for me is, I get it. I know how this works. If I start writing from the heart, with the hope that my insights help one person, I will find that I am not alone and that there is a common thread that binds us all together.

So, with that in mind, and because you asked nicely, here we go.

To start, I think we need to keep in mind that this is a blog. I’m going to start at the beginning and work forward in small increments, touching on relevant aspects of my own story that contribute to my understanding of people, divorce, relationships, and coping skills.

I had a pretty normal childhood. Two parents, a younger brother, a dog. My parents divorced when I was 11. I can still hear myself screaming at the news. I didn’t take it well. We moved with Mom 300 miles away and spent summers with Dad. I became an angry teenager. My Mom and I raged. I pushed buttons, she threw full glasses of ice water at my head. It got to the point where, at 14, she let me move back and live with my Dad. I left my brother behind. Looking back, not cool. But, I was an angry, lost, 14 year old. I’ll take a look at teenagers later from both sides of the fence, but for now, I’ll let that sleeping dog lie, shake my head, be thankful I survived, and move on.

It wasn’t too long before my Mom and brother returned to my hometown. My Dad remarried, I got a step Mom, and a step-sister. That’s when the fine art of playing games between divorced parents really began. I recently ran into a high school acquaintance who commented that my best friend and I had the least parental supervision of anyone he’d ever met. Sounds about right. In my defense, I graduated. I hit 9 schools and skipped the third grade getting there, it was close, but I graduated.

So, what’s the point of this first installment? I’m guessing we all have life history and divorce baggage. Whether it’s from our parents, family, or close friends, we’ve all had the opportunity to pack our bags with preconceptions of what a divorce is and does. I know I did when it came time for my own divorce. For the most part, mine was predictable. An agonizingly predictable trip through Crazyland. My situation still throws a rogue wave every now and then, but the flood waters of the River Styx have subsided.

Then came Tina’s divorce…. and that, my friends, is a whole ‘nother story.

 

(To read more blogs from Mr. OMB, click here and stay tuned for more)

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“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter.

Seeking a private forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina and the Lemonade Warriors in The Lemonade Club!  For information, please email Tina@onemomsbattle.com.

Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s book, Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle” is available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

Mr. OMB – A Message of Hope

Mr. OMB – A Message of Hope

hope

by Mr. OMB (Tina’s Husband)

Hope.

As a warrior of OMB, I have faced each challenge with Faith and Love as a breastplate, and Hope as a
helmet. Today, I would like to offer you my helmet.

Hope is something I can offer without hesitation. I don’t worry that I have enough knowledge, experience, or understanding of your individual circumstances to write about it, to offer it, to give it.

My experience with hope tells me that hope is a magnifier and a reducer. It strengthens your work. It takes your efforts, your steps, your expended energy, and gives them a boost. It helps bring you closer to your goal. Hope, in the face of despair or defeat, gives you something to hold onto. It reduces the devastation of the setbacks.

It protects your head. It gets you through.

There may be a time when it is all you have left. Loosing hope? Look around you. It’ll turn up. Still can’t
find it? Hang on! You never know who, or what, will bring it to you.

No doubt, this is a tough time of the year emotionally, financially, spiritually. It can also bring the most
hope. Remember the reason for the season…? Hope is in there somewhere, trust me. While it sounds
like religion, I think hope is universally foundational regardless of belief. Faith, Love, Pixie Dust, and Hope.

For me, hope is intertwined with my beliefs. So, my prayer of hope is for you and your children.

Please understand that my prayer includes peace and enlightenment for all involved in the turmoil that
fills these pages.

Hope for everyone? Why not. We all have the ability to give hope to someone else. I am told that my
story, and Elationship with Tina (Typing along, I looked up to see “Elationship” instead of “relationship”.
Typo or God nudge? I have no idea how it got a capital E) please excuse me while I freak out…

Ok, I’m back. Where was I? Oh yeah, I have been told that our Elationship gives others hope. I am sure
that we are not unique in this ability. Tina’s story gives hope because she has been there, done that, and
survived. You have survived something that someone else is facing. You have survived years of abuse, a
sudden attack, abandonment, mental manipulation, an abusive assault, an hour, a day, a week, a year, or more
away from your children. You have endured pain and loss. You have gotten free, fought to protect those
you love. You have had moments of clarity. You have found yourself, peace, balance, and love. In doing
so, you give others hope regardless of where either of you are in your journeys.

Every battle, challenge, month, day, year, second you survive, you show others that it can be done. You
give them the helmet of hope.

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“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter.

Seeking a private forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina and the Lemonade Warriors in The Lemonade Club!  For information, please email Tina@onemomsbattle.com.

Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s book, Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle” is available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

Mr. OMB: Who Are You?

Mr. OMB: Who Are You?

who-are-youby Mr. OMB (Tina’s Husband)

Who Who, Who Who

I used to like the Who’s live version of the song with the dark and mysterious lyrics. I listened to the part with the expletive over and over again with the volume pegged just to annoy anyone who wasn’t an angst filled teenage boy. That was my truth. I was a pain in the ass.

Today, I am different. However, I am still my truth. Seems simple enough. However, becoming a party to a contentious divorce proceeding with anyone capable of wholesale fabrications will have you defending, possibly even questioning that truth.

I’m not new to having my truth challenged.

Over the summer, I walked up to a loud party of people I had never met before. It was a public campground at 1:23 AM and I am a Park Ranger. It was my job. Before I opened my mouth, someone called me a racist. In that moment I held to the oath I took to: “Maintain courageous calm in the face of danger, scorn, or ridicule.” I also held to my truth. I am not a racist. I stuck to the issue, followed protocol, and, eventually, reached resolution. Imagine however, that I took it personally, that I got sucked in and sidetracked. That I started arguing, or worse, got angry at the accusation. The farther down that road you go, the more credibility you loose, the longer the party rages…

During Tina’s battle, truth challenges and distortions have been constant. I was tempted to attach a copy of the court declaration I submitted in response to one of those challenges. However, suffice to say that we are not running a brothel, I have not profited from child trafficking, and I am not a partner in a Maui mansion (yet).

While it has been annoying to be in question, the hard part hasn’t been about me. The hard part has been Tina’s fight for truth. Knowing what her truths are and how fictional and distorted the challenges have been. Since this site chronicles those battles, I guess my advice here today would be simple; remain calm, don’t get sucked in or sidetracked, don’t let your emotions (anger) damage your credibility. But most of all, know your truth.

My truth, today, is that I put on a Smokey hat and mimic recorded owl calls for our nighttime nature hikes. I am no longer a pain in the ass. Now, I just ruffle feathers.

Whoo Whoo – Whoo Whoo…

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“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or “follow” on Twitter.

Seeking a private forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina at The Lemonade Club!

Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s book, Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle” is available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.