Divorcing a Narcissist: The Deeper Meaning of Life

Divorcing a Narcissist: The Deeper Meaning of Life

My fiance are in the process of moving and received the keys to our new home last night.  It’s a long process which will span over the course of the next month to month and a half.  We found an adorable little house with a fabulous backyard but the key word is “little” as we are downsizing our living space drastically.  I have found the past few years to be healing as I’ve thrown out “things” and embraced simplicity versus material possessions.

My X likes to spoon feed the following story to anyone who will listen: “Tina was money-hungry and left me when I lost everything“.  Ironically, I can look back at email after email (during our marriage) and find numerous times where I begged and pleaded, “Let’s walk away from this fake life- the houses, the cars and the almighty dollar and find a small house and live like real people”.  I wanted that so badly.  I wanted to be in a neighborhood where my children could play with other children.  Not in a hoity-toity gated community where we are competing with the neighbor over who has the newest Mercedes Benz.

As we pulled the U-Haul truck into the driveway yesterday for the first load of items, I was struck by the symbol of a dragon fly on the side of the truck.  We arrived at the new house for the official walk-through and inspection and the light shining in the living room was stained glass with the image of a dragonfly.  Remembering that dragonflies meant some type of change, I looked up the meaning over dinner.

Symbolism’s of the Dragonfly: Maturity and a Depth of character: The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.

The traditional association of Dragonflies with water also gives rise to this meaning to this amazing insect. The Dragonfly’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life.

Focus on living ‘IN’ the Moment: The dragonfly normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a fraction of its life and usually not more than a few months. This adult dragonfly does it all in these few months and leaves nothing to be desired. This style of life symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living IN the moment and living life to the fullest. By living in the moment you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis.  ###

I believe in “signs” and paying attention to those gentle nudges.  I am ready to embrace the deeper meaning of life and to live in the moment.  Changes can be scary and overwhelming at times but I am looking forward to my new home, my new neighborhood and the changes that are in store for us.  Cheers to changes!  -Tina

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To purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle”, click here. You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive while divorcing a narcissist or co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to de-code the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and to begin healing. 

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8 Responses

  1. Hmm, they must all say the same things. My ex has went and told everybody that I spent all the money and that’s why I left him. They must all have went to narcissist school together!

    Keep looking ahead to your bright future. I have a post it note on my bathroom mirror that I write three things that I’m grateful for each day. It helps me stay motivated and keep my eyes focused on my future.

  2. Huh. That’s exactly what my ex tells people.

    And that’s EXACTLY what I would ask from him too…to downsize, live simply, focus on the important things.

    Congratulations on your new little place! I was married just a few weeks ago and we moved into our new home right afterwards. It’s been heaven.

  3. Ironic.

    My Ex actually did spend all the money–then left me for his latest married affair partner.

    Who knows what he’s telling people–last I heard, he was putting out that we were legally separated so his girlfriend could go on group dates with him in peace, *before we had even filed the divorce papers*.

    Congrats on the new house. It sounds much like my dreams as well. I’m starting to think Cluster B personalities have a “type”–and we are it.

  4. This brings to mind the infamous words of wisdom from MLK, Jr.-“Free at last, free at last, Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” It does not have anything to do with dragonflies, but I just love that speech. Praise the Lord for the gentle nudges and God bless the fresh start of everything for you, the girls and your fiance. Thanks for sharing:)

  5. Congrats on your new home <3 And dragonflies are very special to me. I remember the week I filed for divorce my backyard because the mating grounds for every dragonfly in town. Reading about dragonflies and their symbolism is very special to me. May your flight be long and happy Tina!

  6. Heather, my story sounds identical to little bit you stated about yours. Are you divorced yet? I’m just looking for some advice on the process.

  7. Eva, you are not the first person to tell me that.

    I’m really starting to believe there are only 8 or 10 of these people in the continental US — they just keep recylcing new victims and using the same horrible lies to suck in the new target.

    I am now 2 months & 28 days divorced. YAAAYYY!

    My attorney rocks, btw. I would suggest that is the very first and most important step after physical safety is achieved.

    You are welcome to contact me on Facebook under the Community page Blue Eyes and Bruises. I’d be happy to “talk” and offer what insights I can in the process.

    Divorce from a Cluster B personality is gut-wrenching & heart-shattering for most of us. I know right now it might feel like you will never be whole again, but I promise it does get different in time. I won’t say better, because that’s like comparing the leaning tower of Piza to the Effiel Tower.

    Eventually your perception of the situation will change, and you will find the good side of escaping a poisonous, hostage situation.