Divorcing a Narcissist: The Cottage and Re-Branding

Divorcing a Narcissist: The Cottage and Re-Branding

The x did not follow court orders on Thursday/Friday in terms of notification so I cancelled his Saturday visit.  I waited until 2pm and then we went forward with our weekend plans but accepted his notification for Sunday’s visit.  He didn’t call the police (or the Ninja Turtles) as I suspected but he sent the normal Narcissistic email:

Tina- The court order is within 24 hours. Not at 10:59 AM. The court order is to notify you by email. This is an email exchange on gmail acceptable by the court and has been since the beginning.  On the date below I emailed you 2 days before on Thursday and you refused to follow the court order and bring my daughters to me on Saturday.

Bring my daughters today please October 6th and tomorrow October 7th.  Again, I will accommodate you and meet you at (xyz location) at 11 AM. I accommodated you three weeks ago by meeting at Starbucks but that is against the court order.  The Court Order is you drop the girls off at (his parent’s home)  every 1st, 3rd and 5th Saturday and Sunday. I have my daughters less than 12 hours every other week.That’s virtually no time.  You had me in court 4 weeks in a row now. I had two days of very intense work to make up for missing so much work. My Friday morning workobligations did not allow me to email at 10:59 AM.  You need to stop being so vengeful and realize the children, need both their biological Father, not your fiance as their father.  I will be filing motions at this point to correct the problems you continue to create.The X

My Response:

x: I waited well past the time yesterday for notification. I do not need to be notified at exactly 10:59am but anytime Friday morning is fine. 5am, 6am — before your work day starts is also an option. There is a court order in place and cancelled visits are easily prevented by following the order as it is written. We will plan to see you tomorrow (Sunday) at 11am.  Thank you- Tina

Sunday’s Visit:

I work in Marketing and re-branding is something that is usually reserved for businesses.  This weekend I discovered that it is also used for Narcissists who are trying to fool people.  My daughters came home and said that Daddy is going to rent a little cottage for them to stay in on the weekends.  Very interesting, I thought to myself.  The timing is uncanny given the fact that I am going to press for a new parenting evaluation at our upcoming court date and he knows that.  During our last evaluation in 2010, he set up an apartment specifically for the evaluation.  The x’s landlord (a year after the fact) admitted to me that it was all a front and went on to say that my x was a psychopath who lured young women to the apartment, got them drunk and took advantage of them.

Now he is planning to set up another false front since there is another evaluation looming.  The girls went onto say that the cottage is actually in the downstairs area of his family’s home.  Now I am thoroughly confused but I let them keep talking about this “cottage”.  Basically, he is trying to get them excited about “daddy’s new cottage” which is essentially the same place they’ve been going for the past year.  It’s just the basement or the downstairs area.  It’s the same place where his father, older brother, brother’s wife (that he purchased in Thailand) and son reside.  This is the home belonging to the brother who I’ve fought so hard to protect my children from.  It’s being re-branded for the parenting evaluation.

Just when I think that I can’t be shocked anymore.  My x now rents a “basement cottage”.

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3 Responses

  1. Did your X come across money to have the help he has had to help him thus far “need both biological Father”-has he used that language before or has he done the PAS/denial of parental time “load” before?-I think I smell a rat( maybe NXs family may have enlisted additional high-priced high powered help to protect themselves and their reputation because that has father’s rights atty written all over it-or is it just me?) I suspected my NX had two attorneys or at least had someone advise him on how to advise the attorney he used against me. It is just a hunch, but it makes since to me. Interesting if that were the case how these people will go to such great lengths to pay someone to do harm, before they pay to have anyone do good. Is someone being paid by your NX to file the motions he is claiming here or is he in pro per? Doesn’t he owe tens of thousands of dollars to help pay for the care of the children that he can not even agree to give simple advanced notification that he wants to see when he is allowed to see them?-Seriously? You had him in court?, does he realize the the court reporter is there to record him asking for continuances on issues that are 100% his responsibility and court ordered-pay your support, buddy and sober up!!!! Is he on drugs? Alcohol, we know, but my goodness this guy is delusional. Does he even have a job?

  2. I find this interesting since Saturday my NX informed me that his manager was going to buy a 3 bedroom house for him to rent. We have a visitation hearing coming up and he knows that I have a good argument for no overnights due to his living in a one bedroom apartment. He has his two boys (another relationship) and wants the 3 males to sleep on a blow up mattress with our 3 year old daughter. These guys manipulate everything and everyone! It sickens me!

  3. I personally witnessed the manipulation my father used against my mother, his subsequent girlfriends, and finally his second wife. After abandoning me after having my child (because he didn’t want to “take care of” my chid {something I never asked him to do}) I backed up from him significantly. My son is now 5 and now that my father has a new girlfriend, he’s been asking me to bring my child over. I’ve refused because I don’t want to allow my child to be used for my father to stroke his own ego after being absent in my child’s life after all this time.

    My dad recently wanted me to meet his newest girlfriend. I didn’t intend to, but one day I ran into him and she was there. While I spoke to her alone, I looked her in the eye and uttered the words “He is a narcissist, don’t trust him.” She nervously shook her head and uttered “he’s fine.” I then looked her in the eye and explained “I’ve known him for 32 years and I’ve seen him through 2 marriages and countless women. DO NOT TRUST HIM.” Again she shook her head nervously and looked away.

    My last two narcissist boyfriends came with warnings from women that were close to them (one was the guy’s mother, the other was the guy’s ex). Since then I’ve decided that if someone close to the situation warns me about what I’m walking into, I’m going to haul ass. Hopefully no more narcissists for me. Unfortunately, I tend to attract men that are like my father. But now that I’m recognizing the signs, hopefully I can eventually break this horrible cycle. My time is now spent trying to raise my son to not be a narcissist like his father. Good luck to all.