A note from Tina: Every week I feature stories from other women who are in this battle. One Mom’s Battle has many faces. Part of my healing has come from connecting with these other women and sharing stories, giggles and tears. I have found a tremendous support system through this blog and it has helped me to realize that I am not alone. I call them the “Warrior Moms” and while I know there are also many men affected by Narcissists and Psychopaths, the vast majority of my interaction is with other brave women. One Mom’s Battle Has Many Faces –from all over the world.
Here is Face #8:
It’s been 3 years since I called it quits with my Narcissist. Reading your blog was like reading my life. How disturbed these NPD’s would be to know that they are literally scripted to be just like each other! They are not special, or unique in any way, actually. The karma of it all is quite funny to me now, actually.
I stayed married 3 years longer than I should have, fighting my way through therapy, watching him lie to and charm the therapist. Having him beg me to lie to our therapist, too. Because he was somewhat physically abusive. There were only a couple of instances, but he had a way of “keeping me in line” in other ways. He was a thrower. It started with remotes….then glasses…bowls, lamps. One night he slammed a door so hard it went through the frame. His answer was to punch it in half, tear it off the hinges and throw it down the stairs at me. He once threw a solid oak wood dining room chair at my head. It missed by inches and lodged in the wall. I still have that dining room set (I got all of the furniture in the house in the divorce) and that chair still has drywall caked on a couple of legs. I keep it that way as a reminder, honestly. I need to see that to remind me that I have it better now, no matter how bad he gets. Because the other reason I stayed those 3 years is because I truly thought that the only thing worse than being married to him would be to be divorced from him, knowing the living nightmare he would make my life.
I moved 30 minutes away from him in a modest house I could afford. My kids love it and are happy. He sold our 3 story mansion down there and moved into an even bigger house, on the lake with floor to ceiling windows, bought a boat and a golf cart…wait for it….IN MY SAME NEIGHBORHOOD. He now lives a football field away from me so he can be, you guessed it, “closer to the kids.” I’ve lived there two years, but now he is slowly but surely charming everyone to where they don’t know why I ever divorced him! I must be crazy! And even though he’s there to be closer to the kids…he doesn’t want to take my son to baseball practice or his friends house…not on HIS time! He is not a taxi service!!! Have you MET teenagers???? Wow. Nothing that would interfere with HIS plan, that’s for sure. It’s becoming abundantly clear to me that once my youngest son graduates high school in 3 years? I will sell this house and move far from here. It makes me sad because he has now destroyed my place, my refuge, the one thing that was mine…the first house I ever bought BY MYSELF! He’s wiped it all away. But he doesn’t understand my hurt or anger about this, he wants us to be friends. He doesn’t understand why we don’t talk anymore? When he consistently and continually twists my words into things I never said (I, too, have started recording), and continues to trash my friends.
I have been accused of being bitter, overly obsessed with my ex….but really? I don’t want to be mad anymore. I sure as hell don’t want to be bitter. It’s not who I am. I’m just so damn tired of thinking about him at all. I hope I get there, I really do.
So just thanks, I guess, now that I’ve blathered on, for putting this out there and letting all of us know that we’re not alone. That we’re not crazy. And shining a light on this ever so troubling disorder. With love for your continued success and happiness…R
Please submit your story (less than 900 words) to Tina@thePRdiva.com- I welcome all stories from Narcissistic survivors.
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