(Continued from: It Takes a Village Part 1)
Today I was asked to speak on the AC Green Radio Show about the problems in our Family Court System. I was pretty nervous on the first half and I should have gone into the interview more prepared. I was able to jot down some bullet points and go into the second segment prepared to discuss the issue that is near to my heard: Courts are too focused on being fair to the parents when they should actually be concerned with what is best for the children. I discussed Narcissism from my point of view– from someone who is still learning about this disorder.
There isn’t just a problem in the court system. It’s a problem in our society. Many people don’t want to get involved.
It takes a village.
In my own personal battle, I have come to realize that there are several different types of people.
- There are people who know what is happening but don’t want to get involved.
- There are people who know what is happening and are willing to gossip or offer ‘behind-the-scenes’ information yet they don’t want to get too involved.
- People have no clue what is really happening yet they are willing to defend the Narcissist’s version of the story because they’ve bought into the sales pitch. They’ve bought into the Narcissist persona that comes out when cameras are on or an audience is present.
- People who know what is happening and are willing to step forward and do anything it takes to help me protect my children and yours. We need more of these people and I am thankful to have connected with many of them through this blog.
I have had so many people come forward and provide details of my X’s life – the real stories about where his money goes, how he hides his money and how they were personally manipulated by him. These people have provided information but all say the same thing: “I just don’t want to get involved legally– but I am happy to tell you anything you want to know”. I have a hard time with that one. Could these people live with themselves if something were to happen to my daughters? As a mother and as a human being, I have a hard time understanding how someone could withhold information if they know that a child is in danger.
There are the people who don’t want to be involved but are happy to gossip about my X husband. My X husband’s former landlord is great example of that. He is a very well-known business man in the community where I reside. Previously, I admired him because anytime I was involved in a fundraiser; he would grab his checkbook and support the cause. This same man came to a party that I threw last year and was quick to gossip about how crazy and manipulative my X husband was. He actually called him a “psychopath” and talked about him bringing random girls (met online) to his house where he would serve them alcohol and take advantage of them. As he left my party, he said, “Do you know that (X) staged the entire house for your Parenting Evaluation”. I was speechless.
Did I know that my X staged his home for the parenting evaluation? Of course I did. Can I prove that in court? Not with the 20 minutes of time that I am given to try and protect my children in a system that sees my case as just another file in the stack. When I heard those words leave this man’s mouth, I was hopeful. All I needed was to have him write a simple one-page declaration stating exactly what he had just said—that he lived with my X and that my X was a manipulative, disturbed psychopath who staged his home to convince the courts that he was a healthy, loving father. If he knew all of this information, he would gladly help me to protect my little girls, right? Wrong.
I contacted him about writing a declaration and he emailed me back stating that he had so much going on in his life. He was “stressed out”. I gave his contact information to my daughters’ attorney. Surely he would be willing to talk to him and explain the behavior that he saw from December of 2009- June of 2012. Wrong. He actually told the attorney that his memory was bad and that he didn’t remember anything. I was floored. I couldn’t understand. I will never understand it. I have lost all respect for this person.
One reason that our system is so flawed is due to the fact that people “don’t want to get involved”. I can guarantee that our Family Court System would not be in the place that it is today if more people would leave their comfort zones and take a stand. Take a stand to protect the children who are suffering every day. Take a stand to demand that laws change and Judges become educated. Take a stand to demand that Children’s’ Rights take precedence over Mothers’ Rights or Fathers’ Rights.
We need to make our voices heard loud and clear: the Family Court System is FAILING to protect children all over the United States and beyond.
Click Here: Template Letter to Start Writing
Where to write:
- Write Your U.S. Representative (A service of the House that will assist you by identifying your Congressperson in the U.S. House of Representatives and providing contact information.
U.S. Supreme Court: Contact Information – US Supreme Court
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