Obviously, Father’s Day is a day to celebrate dads. A day devoted to these wonderful men who sacrifice so much for the ones that they love. When you are celebrating the day with a Narcissist, it takes the day to a whole new level. It is really all about them.
The X has made a big production with each phone call to the girls about how sad he is that he can’t see them. The fact is, he can see them but he is choosing not to. Yesterday he spent the day drinking at local wineries and then called the girls while intoxicated. The first phone call at 6:30pm was bizarre and he was repeatedly telling my seven year old daughter that it was Father’s Day and how sad it was that he was right here in town and couldn’t see her. He said, “I am here with Uncle Brian, Uncle Jason and Poppi and you should be with me today“. I looked in her eyes and saw how uncomfortable she was so after a few times of hearing him repeat his sob story, I took the phone and walked into another room to ask him to stop. He said, “BLAST OFF, TINA!” and began to yell at me. I hung up the phone and sent him the following text message:
X- You are welcome to call back anytime this evening before 8pm if you can refrain from discussing adult/court related topics with the children.
He called back at 7:51pm and kept telling the girls that he loves them “up to the sky” and that he is sad (about being away from them on Father’s Day). He then told my youngest daughter that he loves her and she said, “Ok”. He responded by saying, “You have to say it –that you love daddy”. At that point, she said it back to him. His voice was low and bizarre– he was extremely intoxicated. It made my skin crawl.
He is such a disturbed person. To hear him tell my daughter that she had to say, “I love you” to him was almost too much to bear. Love is earned. To hear him say that they should be with him today — in a home with their drunk father, three disturbed men and a Thai bride. Have another drink and give your keys to someone else.
This weekend, I made a decision to hire an attorney. I have handled everything on my own thus far but there is so much on the line right now– I can’t risk making a single mistake in court on Wednesday. I met with an attorney on Saturday over coffee and spent much of the weekend creating a timeline of events over the past three years. When I force myself to sit down and create a timeline of all that has happened, it becomes overwhelming. I am left marveling at how much my daughters have been through and how well they are doing. For that, I am thankful. For Wednesday, I am hopeful.