Divorcing a Narcissist: Driving without a License (again)

Divorcing a Narcissist: Driving without a License (again)

That is the question of the hour.

Many of you may remember that my X received a DUI last October.  It is my understanding that it was reduced to a “wet n reckless” with the help of a high-priced attorney.  Regardless of what the final charge was, he was drinking and driving.  He lost his license.  After the fact, he was knowingly driving the girls without a license and it was lightly addressed in court.  When asked by the Commissioner if he had a valid license, he didn’t answer directly.  He did what he normally does when lying: he talks in circles and it sounded something like this:

X: Well, I was working in San Diego on Monday so I assumed it was okay to drive.

Commissioner: So, you have a license that is restricted to/from work and since you had to be in San Diego on Monday, you think it is okay to drive between Friday and Monday?  Basically, you have no restrictions and can do whatever you want (sarcasm). 

No.  It is NOT okay to drive children without a license nor is it okay for a 38 year old man to drink and drive.  There are no laws above a 38-year old man with Narcissism.  None.

Because he is irresponsible, I am forced by the courts to drive the girls 40 minutes (round trip) to his family’s home for visitation.  If that isn’t frustrating enough, he then put them in the car after I left and drove them in his car.  I’m sure his excuse will be– it was only a short distance.  Obviously, I have calls into the girls’ attorney and he is investigating whether or not his license was reinstated.  If it is in fact suspended, I’m sure we will go back to court to listen to him talk in circles and have the Commissioner give him another chance.

Because 159 chances weren’t enough.

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12 Responses

  1. If he is caught by the police driving without a license, can’t he be thrown in jail?

  2. Wow. All I can say is I shouldn’t be surprised. They are above the law and the rules don’t apply to them at all, even when the rules are spelled out in black and white. I so wish any narcissist in court would be punished each and every time they break the rules. It’s simply amazes me what they can get away with. I am all too familar with the talking in circles. It’s what they do best……..manipulation. After my ex was officially diagnosed with npd the dr said he would never change, that it’s who he is and his way of life. It’s simply like you and I breathing air. Too bad they don’t come with a huge warning sign attached to them!

  3. Tina, Don’t your court papers say you two meet at a certain place? Because if it does it is HIS responsibility to pick them up there…and if he doesn’t have a license then he would have to have someone else drive him there. I know in my papers HE said he would drive all the way to pick up our child because I don’t drive (He was trying to be Mr. Nice Guy to the judge). If you find out he doesn’t have a license I would call the police (not 911) and see what options are open to you if he tries to drive off with them.

  4. Sue- the papers say that I have to bring the girls to his house now– since he can’t drive. That is the other frustrating part– I am driving them 40 minutes to a home where they are not safe and he is going to turn around and drive them anyway???

  5. I would gently prepare the children for the possibility of that happening, if and when that happens, just in case of course. It is easy for any driver on the road to identify a drunk driver and call 911 when they see that happening. It’s their civil duty.

  6. Can you video tape him driving? Or have someone you know do it for you? Would it make any difference?

  7. Today I don’t know how you have the energy to keep it up, your commisioner sounds like a real ass at this point, and I am being kind in my choice of words. I am waning in energy right now in my battle so that is where my comment comes from (don’t get me wrong, I think…hope I am just gathering strength for the next round soon to come). It is exhausting and frustrating and I know the energy comes and goes. Just stay strong and fight on no matter what a-hole gets in the way.

  8. Janine- It’s incredibly draining. I am glad that it comes in cycles because the downtime is the only way that I can regain my strength and go at it again. Cheers to you!

  9. A witness account is sufficient and that is in place already 😉 Will post more when I can.

  10. My ex moved to the opposite side of the county that I live in. I have to drive 40 minutes each way as well. Um, he moved…?