Divorcing a Narcissist: Adult Bullying

Divorcing a Narcissist: Adult Bullying

We all remember the playground bullies from childhood.  Mean and calculated– unrelenting and remorseless.  They seem to thrive on wounding others.  An adult version of the playground bully is Peter Cook, also known as the poster child for extreme narcissism.

The fact that this man is an actual diagnosed, malignant narcissist and that he is getting away with dragging Christie Brinkley through the court system baffles me.  It is a waste of tax-payers dollars, Ms. Brinkley’s time and the court’s time.  Peter Cook wants direct access to Christie Brinkley and uses co-parenting as an excuse to have contact.  He doesn’t want access to allow him to co-parent; he wants access so that he can continue to victimize her.

There is no such thing as co-parenting when you are dealing with a Narcissist.  A Narcissist is like a 6-year old child with mental health problems.  The courts would not expect you to co-parent with a 6-year old so why would they expect you to co-parent with a Narcissist like Peter Cook?

My X has a new girlfriend and I have been told that she knows about my blog.  I am perplexed by the mere thought of that.  I know how charming and manipulative that he can be but to have inside information about what your future holds would cause me to run screaming from the situation.  That brings me to Peter Cook and his new wife, Suzanne Shaw.  Suzanne Shaw is holding a crystal ball into what her future divorce will hold.  Maybe he has her convinced that Narcissistic Personality Disorder will make him a better husband—just like he tried to convince Matt Lauer that it makes him a better father?

Our courts need to begin taking these issues seriously.  There needs to be ongoing education for Judges, Commissioners and attorneys.  Change needs to happen- I encourage you to write to your representatives and let your voice be heard.

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6 Responses

  1. Sadly, if someone is determined to delude themself, there is no rational argument in the world to convince them “but with me it will be different”.

    Personal experience: My (now) ex-husband (Thank God!) new girlfriend and I exchanged emails back while my (then) husband was still promising how much he loved me and that we could work things out. Almost the first thing she said to me was that “I am not divorced yet, thank you very much”–side note: when your boyfriend’s wife confronts you, announcing you are also married does not really help you take or hold the moral high ground. She couldn’t even recognize the insanity of him lying to me while supposedly being honest with her.

    Until someone learns it the hard way, nothing you say or do will make them recognize that which a person is determined to ignore.

    I realize a grown man or woman in a dangerous relationship will not listen to this, but based on bitter personal experience, if you ever find yourself telling yourself, “But with me it will be different” STOP OUTSMARTING YOUR COMMON SENSE and realize the person before you said exactly the same thing to silence their own common sense.

    People are just plain dumb sometimes, myself included.

    There’s a difference between taking the ex’s version of events with a grain of salt, and just begging to be the next person on the CAT Scan & X Ray machines.

  2. Maybe when they meet with someone who actually KNOWS what they are works better for them both. Maybe the NP needs a story so much they treat them better? Maybe because the new partner in someway helps devop their “new persona and story” that they protect it more than the one who named them and “shamed” them. Either way it is better they are with someone who is aware what they are and chooses that risky road than them dupping some other innocent person. NP’s cannot remain alone or single and there are plenty of hopless women out there who will respond to their victim story..and they reqard them accordingly because the “empathy” those women bestow on them is like manna from heaven from them and in return the shower them with money or whatever in return. Its a type of emotional prostitution and works for some. Only problem is that the NP cannot feel fulfilled even by this new adoration and acceptance, their niggling supressed conscience eats at them and they have to continue the process of demonisation of the one who said NO MORE and they believe the destruction of them is the destruction of the demon voice of dissatisfaction inside, they battle and abuse of ex wife and kids then actually fuels their new relationship.

  3. The new woman is the “cultivated witness,” the live-in nanny, and the Ns current malleable tool(object)to manipulate and use to gain control, batter, harass, bully and win whatever it is he thinks he is trying to win-no more, probably even less actually. Heather and L are right. She might even think very highly of herself as well-she might believe herself to be good person. The N appeals to that part of who she is(or at least maybe that is how it was for me-I think). The longer they stay around the more trapped by the lie they will become. Only the Truth sets us free and some just are not open to believe the truth while their egos are being stroked even when they are being whacked up side the head with it! My ex-N’s new girlfriend(?) has two kids of her own. My ex asks our daughters in front of her, who is the better mommy and she lets him, probably because she believes that she is. I would never be so selfish with my children to put them in that position let alone someone else’s children! Only God can knows what is in our hearts and minds. Praise Him for being the way out of this for me and my children. It is hard sometimes. We just have to pray for everyone’s eyes to be opened to the truth before it is too late and more get hurt. The newbies are going to believe the lies-we did. Now we know better:)! TYJ.

  4. My ex met his girlfriend four months in to our separation. I didn’t know about her until 7 months later. My ex was able to manipulate her for all of those months. The minute I found out about her, she started an email campaign that I was the bad guy – that her “soul mate” could never do the things that I accuse him of.

    She has an eight year old daughter – I don’t doubt that this little girl is being raised with the same morals as her mother and her new “stepdad.”