Being My Daughters’ Voice and a Squeaky Wheel

Being My Daughters’ Voice and a Squeaky Wheel

“You know just because the majority thinks something is right, doesn’t make it right. So, that is up to us, the people that see the wrong, that see the injustice, that stay educated, stay informed, stay involved. And there’s an old phrase ‘the squeaky wheel, gets the oil.’ Right now, our wheels aren’t very squeaky; the other side, they’re the ones making all the racket…We just have to get up, stand up, speak out, and don’t be silent.” – Otep Shamaya

I needed a good quote about “squeaky wheels” because that is going to be my title this week.

I relayed Saturday’s pool incident to my daughter’s therapist on Saturday night who recommended that I contact Child Welfare Services immediatly.  I did as instructed and was told that the couldn’t take a report because the situation was  over and the children were safe. They said that I could call in on Monday morning to speak to someone and possibly make a report.

  • This morning (Monday), I called Child Welfare Services at 8am.  Do I think that they will be competent and help us: No.  I understand the reality- the system is flawed all the way around.  I want this issue documented and I will continue to “squeak” until someone helps us.
  • I emailed the attorney who represents my daughters and I also emailed my X’s attorney.  I relayed the near drowning incident and this is a snippet of what I wrote, “What will it take for someone to protect my daughters?  I would love for one of you to tell me the answer to that because I am so angry with this system that seems to continually put my daughter’s lives in jeopardy“. I have not received a response as of yet.
  • I then emailed my X mother-in-law and let her know that if something happens to my daughters, that I will hold her equally responsible since she chooses to live in denial and defend her son rather than choosing to keep her granddaughters safe.

If something isn’t done this week, I will probably be turning to my local media sources for assistance.  I refuse to sit back and wait for something tragic to happen to my daughters.  I feel that a tragedy is the only thing that will cause the courts and Child Welfare Services to finally act in my daughters’ best interest.

Side note: On Saturday night, my X admitted in a series of text messages that there was a “scare” and that the girls would be in life jackets 100% of the time from now on.  The girls stated they didn’t want to go in the pool at all on Sunday.  He agreed to that.  Then, he began sending me text messages of my daughters happily playing in the pool on Sunday WITHOUT life jackets and to let me know that they are “fine” and that I am “over reacting”.


6 Responses

  1. Hi Tina,
    This brings back a lot of memories….the same thing happened to my children when my ex husband and I were separated years ago for the first time. They were around 8, 6 and 4 years old and didn’t know how to swim yet….he had taken them to a church singles pool party and left them in the pool with the 8 yr old in charge while he went inside to dance… 6 six year old began to go to the deep end of the pool and my 8 yr old got another adult to help….needless to say it scared my 8 yr old., and they were all told by my ex not to tell me, when my 4 yr old told what happened, the 8 yr old got angry at her, and at that point, I ended up reconciling with my ex to keep my kids out harms way….no one reported to the court at that time, but it should have been… go….

  2. It just kills me. The other incidents such as squeezing their wrists, hitting, etc have been difficult enough to swallow. THIS could have cost my daughters their lives.

  3. Tina, I have been following your posts as I have time. I am glad your daughters were safe following swimming; I am very glad your ex-husband’s conceit and lies has been catching up to him. I wonder … I have been researching and discovering HOW MUCH corruption, ineptitude and basically, hell, is being spread through out-of-control Family Courts. I know there is at least one men’s organization that is fighting back for rights in that arena, we don’t need more “men vs. women” because the hell and injustice is happening to men and women … and of course, the children are (adversely) affected. I am wondering if you know of any national organization fighting to reform Family Court, because this is happening in every state. People are piecemeal destroyed; I for one think your petition needs to go out to EVERY state. Plus, having a central repository for the things that are going on would be a great help to parents “up against it”. Just wondering what you (or if anyone else has info) know …

  4. Dawn- I would love to find a national organization. Here is a great starting point

    It’s overwhelming. My dream would be to start a national organization to provide resources for each state. Right now, I have to begin with my own personal battle to protect my children. Once I have that mastered, you can bet I will be looking into starting a non-profit to provide services and education to courts, judges, etc.

  5. Squeak away, Tina. You continue to remain within the bounds of the law, all the while fighting. Can you file for a change in visitation or do you have to remain with the current situation?

  6. I am sickened that he continues to rub in your face that they are now swimming and just fine. Without sounding like a bitter woman through my own experience within the court system you are a mere number. Your daughters are a number. I am glad your daughters can write their own experiences and find healing through journaling.