Divorcing a Narcissist: When Family Court Gets it Right

Divorcing a Narcissist: When Family Court Gets it Right

peaceby Tina Swithin

Today is a FANTASTIC DAY!  Never give up. Always follow your gut and if you feel like you’ve been failed then get back up and try again. And again. And again.

I had been warned this week that my ex parte request would probably be denied because it didn’t constitute a true emergency. After all, my daughters have professionally supervised visits.  The court website says that an emergency constitutes “the potential for blood on the floor.” I’m not joking. It really says that.

I operate today with the same mentality that has brought me through this battle. I need to put my head on a pillow each night knowing that I did everything in my power to protect my daughters. While I knew there was a 50/50 chance that the courts could shoot me down, I needed to know that I had tried.

In my request for order, I outlined the anxiety, the missed school days and the other things that had manifested due to the one hour visit with Seth. I outlined the fact that he has had 70 opportunities to see the girls yet he chose not to. I outlined his phone calls which range from bizarre and manic to drunk pocket dials. I included the message from the young woman who Seth assaulted — this assault happened in the midst of our custody evaluation and the courts had no knowledge of it. In her message to me she said, “He is mentally unstable. He snapped with a rage in his eyes that I have only seen in animals.”  

This makes the FIFTH victim who has come forward since Seth and I separated.

I was asking for visits to be decreased to one visit per month.

Minor’s counsel was requesting two visits per month.

The Commissioner stripped him of ALL visits pending the next hearing on October 28th.

Another few weeks of peace. We’ll take it.

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Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle” and her new book “Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield” are available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries, navigate your way through the divorce and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

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