by Tina Swithin
One year ago this month, I wrote my most popular blog to date: “Divorcing a Narcissist: It’s Over!” People all over the world rejoiced with me when I announced the end of my battle. I was successful in obtaining something that I had fought so hard for: the safety of my children.
This past week (July 10th) was the one year anniversary of my final court date and I spent the week on a houseboat at Lake Powell — far away from cell phones, computers and the chaos of the world. I had time to reflect on everything that had happened and how far we’ve come.
- It’s officially been one year since we’ve seen Seth. In line with my prediction on the day we received the verdict, the ego of a Narcissist is not equipped to deal with supervised visits.
- The small handful of emails that I’ve received over the past year evoke pity instead of fear.
- Piper and Sarah are both thriving as well-adjusted 7 and 9 year olds free from night terrors and daytime, anxiety-induced potty accidents.
- The girls feel safe to create boundaries now that Seth is out of the picture. They have actually refused his calls for the past four months which has been supported by their therapist.
- Last month, Piper felt safe enough to write a very powerful letter to Seth while in her therapists office. I sent this letter to Seth at her request. Obviously, it was met with denial and twisted to fit Seth’s agenda but nonetheless, it allowed her to take her power back free from his wrath.
- The girls have chosen to use my last name versus Seth’s last name. Obviously, this can’t be legally changed however, their school has accommodated their request at the academic level.
- We have peace. Finally. Thankfully.
This experience and my decision to blog about my journey has united a community of the most amazing people I’ve ever encountered. One thing I’ve discovered is that narcissists target people with the qualities and traits that they themselves lack. Some of the traits that lure in a narcissist are: kindness, compassion, caring, empathy, concern, love, tenderness, faithfulness. These are just a few of the traits that describe this group of warrior parents at One Mom’s Battle. I am grateful that my journey has brought me to this group. The Administrators of One Mom’s Battle are leaders who have been in the trenches or who remain in the trenches. My gratitude is beyond worlds. We’ve come a long way, baby!
Seeking a Private Forum for advice, inspiration and support? Join Tina and the Lemonade Warriors in The Lemonade Club! For information, please email Tina@onemomsbattle.com
Seeking a Divorce Coach for your high-conflict divorce and custody battle? Contact Tina Swithin at Tina Swithin, LLC
Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s books, “Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle” and her new book “Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield” are available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries, navigate your way through the divorce and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.