Divorcing a Narcissist: It’s a Matter of Perspective

Divorcing a Narcissist: It’s a Matter of Perspective

GratitudeWe started a Facebook thread yesterday on “positive stories” and I wanted to re-post something that Rebecca said because I think it is so important.

“It is all about attitude and perspective. Some people choose to focus on negativity (how awful it was to be married to a NNN or to have children with an NNN) while others focus on positivity (how great life is now that the NNN is out of our daily life). Each of us whose lives have been touched by an NNN have been hurt but those with an attitude of gratitude revel in the healing, support of people like in this forum, growth of their children, etc and just use the negative aspects of life as learning lessons and stepping stones. Let’s choose to be happy, especially those of us not in the immediate throes of learning about narcissism and caught up in courtroom drama. Extend the hand of hope and happiness to those newly on the rocky journey.” -Rebecca

One life changing moment for me came in 2006 when I was pregnant with my second daughter, Sarah. A fellow mommy (Nicole) in my community was also pregnant and had a little boy (Jackson) who was only 22 months old. Jackson was just a tad bit older than my daughter, Piper. As Nicole was walking, Jackson let go of her hand and ran straight into the street. While we’ve all experienced these heart-stopping moments, Nicole was about to face the most horrific moment of her life. Jackson ran straight into traffic and was killed by an oncoming truck.  I participated in a fundraiser for the family less than a week after Jackson was killed and had the pleasure of meeting his mother, Nicole. I struggled to find words as I stared into her eyes…”I am so sorry…” was all that I could muster.

Nicole looked at me with tears welling up and she said words that will stay with me forever. She said words that changed my life. “I am going to be thankful for the 22 months that I was his mommy. I am thankful that I was able to stay at home and enjoy every moment with him. That is what I am going to focus on.”

From that day forward, and in memory of beautiful little Jackson, I have changed the way that I think about each situation that I encounter. There is always something to be grateful for. What are you grateful for today?  Gratitude is a powerful tool and one that can change your life. -Tina

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Seeking insight, encouragement and advice while divorcing a narcissist? Tina Swithin’s book, Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle” is available on Amazon or through Barnes & Noble. Learn how to set boundaries and see the narcissist for who he/she really is. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.

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