Divorcing a Narcissist: The Phone Calls

Divorcing a Narcissist: The Phone Calls

OMBphoneSeth’s phone call patterns have always been sporadic. Sometimes he calls every other night and sometimes we’ve gone almost two weeks without hearing from him. Since the moment the girls knew that supervised visits had been ordered, they no longer wanted to talk to Seth on the phone. It is my belief that they finally feel safe and empowered to decline the calls- they know that they won’t have to face him alone and that they won’t be chastised. How dare they not want to speak to him.

The court order from two years ago stated that he could call every other night however, there is no court order in place as the final custody order overrode the previous orders. Since court, he has been calling on a regular basis and the girls have refused to talk to him. Last week, I emailed Seth and gave him Piper’s cell phone number in an effort to take myself out of the middle. The girls’ phone is charged and in their bedroom- they can decide whether they want to talk to him or not.

When Seth called last night, I asked Piper to answer and at least say “hello” — mostly to keep him from becoming manic and infuriated. The girls spoke to him for a few minutes and he sounded medicated- very low key. He called her phone multiple times tonight and she chose to ignore it each time. Eventually, she turned the ringer onto silent mode. Shortly afterwards, he called my phone. I answered and explained that he had just spoken to them the night before. He informed me that he could call and talk to “his daughters” anytime that he wanted. I informed him that he was incorrect to which he replied, “Do you want me to record this, Tina, because we are going to battle! We ARE going to battle!”

I hung up.

I will no longer ask the girls to answer the phone. If they want to talk to their father, they are welcome to answer the phone. I refuse to be subjected to verbal abuse.

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