Divorcing a Narcissist: Seth is Back

Divorcing a Narcissist: Seth is Back

ConcertSeth has taken up residence in my town. I’ve suspected for a while however, I recently received confirmation. It started when multiple people reported seeing him at the local bars (shocking, I know) and then I happened to stumble upon solid proof.

For the past few years, I’ve had peace of mind that he lives four hours away and now, he’s back. The most common phrase I’ve heard around town is, “How can he show his face here?!” and sadly, that has nothing to do with my book or blog but the fact that he has burned so many people. I remember hearing Seth’s uncle say to him after a series of failed loans, “You must have balls of steel to ask me for help again”.  Now I know that it has nothing to do with the metallic composition of his balls: he’s a narcissist.

So far, I’ve had two encounters this week:

1. Glenn and I took the girls to a concert at a local resort on Memorial Day. This venue holds free concerts throughout the summer and the girls love to go and dance and hula hoop. We arrived and within moments were informed that Seth was there at the event. We saw him and his side-kick: a known drug addict who did time in jail a few years ago. We exited the main event to head for our friend’s suite at the hotel as they had amazing views from their balcony.  As we got up to leave, Seth and his friend began snapping photos and videos of us. I felt like we were under attack from the Narcissist paparazzi.

From the hotel suite, we had a full view of the concert and the event.  As I looked down from the balcony, I saw Seth right below us.  He had wandered over to the side drinking area, most likely in an effort to avoid being seen consuming alcohol. Ironically and unbeknownst to Seth, we were directly above him and could see the many beers that he was drinking throughout the day. If I had a long arrest history which revolved around alcohol AND it was affecting visitation with my children, I would be sitting in a daily AA meeting but not Seth.

2. Tuesday morning I dropped the girls off at school and headed to the coffee shop where I work while the girls are in school. I swung the door open and there he was perched at a table reading the newspaper. My heart started pounding and I turned and fled to my car. I was angry at myself for my reaction. Why did I let him do this to me?

This morning, I decided that I would not let his presence affect my life. I plan to go to my coffee shop and work just as I always have.  He should be the one who feels uncomfortable, not me.

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