Divorcing a Narcissist: The Gazelle Update

Divorcing a Narcissist: The Gazelle Update

gazelleI feel like I should be reporting live from the bushes while dressed in camouflage but you’ll have to settle for an update from my laptop computer.  Some of you who are new to my blog may be wondering if you stumbled onto the wrong website.  Why is a site dedicated to education about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the Family Court System discussing antelopes from the savannahs of Africa?  You’ll have to click here to catch up to speed: Is it Prey or Pray?

As I reported on my Facebook page a while back, Seth and Sharon (aka Gazelle #3) called off their engagement over Valentine’s Day dinner.  Their engagement took place mid-January so it was very short lived- about one month in duration.

Yesterday, Glenn and I picked up the girls from a daytime visit with Seth.  I looked over at Seth’s car as we pulled into the parking space and there sitting in the front seat was Wendy (aka Gazelle #2).  “She’s baaaaaaaaaaaack” and she was sitting in close proximity to the Cheetah.  Here I had been breathing a sigh of relief that all three gazelles had escaped.

Piper and Sarah are obviously as confused as the rest of us but sadly, even more so because Piper proceeded to tell us that she found it “weird” that Seth was texting Sharon (Gazelle #3) while Wendy was in the pool with Sarah.  She was sitting next to him and even at her age, she thought it was strange.  The girls had originally met Wendy in December and then were introduced to Sharon via his engagement photos online.  Seth has recently told Piper and Sarah that he has “lots” of girlfriends but it seems like Wendy is currently vying to be lead gazelle at this point in the game.

As I ponder the sheer insanity that my poor daughters are being exposed to, three things stay with me:

1.   The lyrics from John Mayer’s “Daughters” song which came out around the time I was pregnant with Piper.  It was one of those songs that made me tear up during pregnancy because I had high hopes that Seth would be the father that she deserved.  During my divorce, that song made me cry for entirely different reasons because I was facing the grim reality of who Seth really was.

2. In an odd and bizarre way, I want to send Gazelle #2 a thank you card for coming back onto the savannah.  I worry less about Seth’s daytime visits when she is here and I know that besides texting his ex-fiance, Sharon, he is on his best behavior when Wendy is present.  That means that there is less opportunity for him to inflict damage on our daughters.

3. Sheer gratitude that Seth’s time with the girls is as limited as it is.  I can’t even imagine what they would be exposed to if custody was shared.

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3 Responses

  1. I feel the same way about the women my ex parades in front of our daughter. There is a new one every two months, and they seem to move in with him immediately. Following the latest change, our daughter said: “He broke up with “K” but it’s not sad because now he’s dating “M.” Talk about setting a poor example for treating relationships.

    It helps me when he dates because he harasses me a tiny bit less but I feel so bad for the women he victimizes emotionally and physically (by hiding health information that should absolutely be disclosed). Zero conscience, and he hides it so well at the beginning.

    I am glad your girls have an example of a healthy relationship at home.

  2. My ex husband has not dated in a while, but I always feel better when he is dating someone and my son goes to visit. I hope that the “MC bashing” is kept to a minimum.

    The few women that my ex has dated have become voices for me in court. At one time or another, they have volunteered to speak on my behalf in front of the judge. Even the woman that cashed in her 401K to pay his $25K in back child support so he didn’t have to go to jail has contacted me to speak in court. I feel so bad that they have been victimized by my ex.

  3. Sadly enough, this journey has just started for the children and I. He tries hard to keep his “other” life hidden from my view as our divorce is still pending and he wants to be seen as the “perfect father” to the courts. It hurts me so badly for my children. They are only 4 and 1 and will see many things in their little lives. What we can do, though, is keep our eyes on the positives, realizing that we have much more time with our children to set the right example than they have setting the wrong one.