I’ve mentioned before that the final days leading up to my book printing were filled with self-doubt. I had a moment of panic one afternoon in my kitchen when I realized that I had successfully sold people on my book while it was still in the project form. What if it received horrible reviews? Would I ever be able to show my blog-face again?
I have been receiving messages and emails lately from women who are filled with self-doubt and worried about whether or not things will ever get better. It is discouraging to think that being the emotional punching bag for a narcissist is what the future holds. I can tell you that there will be dark days but they won’t all be this way. I think back to the two years of my life where I couldn’t sleep through the night because I was awaken by every sound and creak in the house. My bed partner at that time was a shiny steel hammer tucked under my pillow but that feels like a distant memory to me. During that time, it felt like it would never end.
If you would have asked me three years ago if I thought anything positive could come from the hell I was living…I would have probably cried. Positives? That would have been both laughable and cryable to me at the same time. While I sometimes (often) question “why” things are happening, the past four years have taught me to lean on my faith because while I didn’t understand it….there was a plan.
When I first started my blog in November of 2011, I said the following: “If I can help one other woman to feel less alone in her high-conflict divorce than I’ve completed my goal“. I feel like I’ve accomplished that goal. I have spent a lot of time questioning the direction that I want to go with this platform that I’ve built. I know that I want to make changes to the system but I need a team to do that– all with different strengths. I have learned that my strength is in educating people through the media — my high school marketing teacher, Mr. Brewster would be proud to see that I was paying attention in his class!
If you have experience in non-profit start-ups or the expertise to begin the process of changing laws state by state, I would love to talk to you. Deciding what is best for a child should not come down to Father’s Rights or Mother’s Rights– it should be based solely on what is in the best interest of the children.
If you are feeling defeated then allow yourself to feel defeated for a day (two max). Pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. To this day, I’ve never seen a “never-ending tunnel” — there is a light somewhere and you just need to keep walking until you find it. Don’t give up! You never know what the future holds for you.
Click the link to purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle.” You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive (and thrive!) while divorcing of co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to decode the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and you will begin to heal.