Standing Up for Myself: The Principal of the Matter

Standing Up for Myself: The Principal of the Matter

Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself based solely on the principal of the matter. I believe that choosing your battles is equally important. At our court date in October, I came across a declaration from Seth’s Aunt which disturbed me on multiple levels:

  • The declaration from Seth’s aunt was hidden from me. Seth often submits paperwork to the court and doesn’t provide me with exact copies of the items that he submits. The Commissioner is then weighing things out that I am not privy to. I have learned to go to the courthouse and compare what the court was given to what I was given.
  • The declaration was a complete lie. His aunt used letterhead from the non-profit agency that she works for in an effort to make herself look credible to the court. She is an advocate for children and she wrote a declaration about a conversation that she had with me in 2009. According to her declaration, I said the following, ““If Seth gets any custody of the children, I will destroy him.”  I am accustomed to Seth’s family completely fabricating stories but this one was more than I could handle. Even to this day, with ALL that has gone on- …nothing like that has ever left my mouth. Ever.
  • The fact that she misused her position along with non-profit funds and time to damage my case and credibility did not sit well with me. She wrote a statement on the company letterhead, therefore, acting a representative of the non-profit organization.

I struggled with this situation for several weeks before finally writing a letter to the President of the Board of Directors of the non-profit agency. Today, I received a letter from the Executive Director. In the letter, he thanked me for bringing the issue to his attention and assured me that Seth’s aunt was not acting on behalf of the organization in any capacity. He stated: “I have informed (Aunt) that the use of our letterhead in this manner was inappropriate and have made it clear to her that she is not to use our letterhead again regarding this type of personal matter or in any manner in which she is not acting in her role as an advocate for (our company).”

Seth’s aunt’s dishonesty and manipulation has weighed against him multiple times throughout our case and I look forward to submitting the most recent letter to the courts to further show what type of family that I am up against. I will continue to combat their deceptive nature with honesty and truth and I will continue to stand up for myself based on principal alone.

“Like” One Mom’s Battle on Facebook or follow on Twitter @onemomsbattle.com

To purchase Tina’s new book, “Divorcing a Narcissist- One Mom’s Battle”, click here. You will find insight, red flag reflections and strategies on how to survive while divorcing a narcissist or co-parenting with a narcissist. Tired of panicking at the site of a new email from the narcissist in your inbox? Learn how to de-code the emails and see them for what they are. You will learn to forgive yourself and to begin healing. 

5 Responses

  1. It makes me so sad to read this. And sad for my own kids after my recent court date. They [the court system] just don’t care. It’s a reality I’ve come to accept. I hold back tears at this very moment for my kids, other helpless children and their parents with narcissistic parents who abuse them emotionally– with no defense from the legal system.

    Speak and be heard. Spread the word. That’s all I can say. You are my angel and forerunner in this plight. Some day, maybe some change will happen. Until then, we can only lean on each other for support. God bless you, Tina. You are our mentor.

  2. Tina,

    That’s excellent news and should show a credibility issue to the judge regarding the aunt.

    I am glad you decided to write the letter. I hope you feel really good about it. Standing up for yourself based on principal created some evidence for your case. It also renewed some faith in others for me since they were proactive and wrote that letter to you. 🙂

  3. Dene- I agree.

    To be honest, I tried to write the letter for two weeks straight and I was so upset about it that I couldn’t even formulate two sentences to address it. As you know, I am not usually at a loss for words! My aunt helped me to draft the letter and she knew the very words that I couldn’t find.

    When I saw the letter in my PO box today my faith in others was also restored. They took the issue very seriously and for that, I am thankful.

  4. Thank you so much, “S”. I am thankful that we can lean on each other– it’s nice to have an outlet where others really “get it”.

    ((Hugs)) Tina

  5. That is great, you keep standing up for what is right and eventually others will stand with you (besides all of us I mean!) Good for you and what she did will stab herself and X in the back in the court system (one can only hope)!!