Narcissists make people thing that they are so special. They are so unique. They are better than everyone. For so many years, I believed that my X husband was everything he claimed to be. I believed that his family was exceptional. He put me down in a passive aggressive way and over time, I started to believe that I was all of the things he said I was: unattractive, unworthy, unintelligent and unloved. He accomplished what he needed to do in order to survive: he put himself on a pedestal and I lived beneath him– looking up at all times.
As time goes on, you discover that they are not unique—it’s actually quite the opposite. They are all the same. There are slight variations but I equate it to baking chocolate chip cookies. There are variations in the shapes and sizes along with the placement of the chocolate chips but every cookie has the same ingredients. When you are dealing with a batch of cookies, all mixed in the same bowl using the same ingredients, there is nothing unique about them.
I found a quote in a Time Magazine article about Narcissism where Jeffrey Kluger wrote the following, “It’s a deep and all but certain truth about narcissistic personalities that to meet them is to love them, but to know them well is to find them unbearable”. So very, very true.
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