Today’s Court Date: The Outcome

Today’s Court Date: The Outcome

What I do know:

The Family Court System needs to change.

My daughters’ attorney agreed that my X is dishonest and can’t follow orders.  My X’s new attorney tried to defend his lies and was stopped by the judge.  He then realized that he was arguing against the judge and regressed stating that X wasn’t really lying, he was just “saying what the court wanted to hear”.  He then said that if the court did wish to continue supervised visitations that he recommends it be for a period of time (I believe three months was mentioned) and that maybe we could reevaluate after that.

The judge came down hard throughout the entire hearing and basically said he was a liar who had lost all credibility in the court.  He acknowledged that the evidence suggests he was lying about attending church and even referenced his previous lie about where the children were residing on his visit.

Then, the commissioner reinstated his visitation.


10am to 4pm Saturdays and Sundays- the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of each month.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  What is wrong with this system?  This is a sick, evil, twisted man and you just put my little girls back in his care because he hired a big attorney to fight his battle.  I still can’t believe what happened today.

After court, I realized that 10am to 4pm on Sundays won’t work.  We have church from 9am to 10:30am and more than anything, my daughters need stability.  I called his attorney who agreed to call his client and ask to change the order slightly.  We went back and forth over a total of four phone calls (attorney mediating) until I finally unleashed on him (the attorney) and basically said everything that I wasn’t able to say to the judge.  He called back and said “my client conceded and is willing to change the order to accommodate your church schedule”.

We are currently preparing subpoenas for full financial disclosure and a request for attorney fees.

Please help me to spread the word: The Family Court System needs to change and you can help by signing my petition: Click Here .

Find me on Facebook at: One Mom’s Battle


12 Responses

  1. Don’t give up the fight. You have a growing number behind you. I found your blog from a support forum for women recovering from narcissist abuse and signed your petition. I am in the UK and can hear you loud and clear. Try as they might, we will not be silenced. Cyberhugs to you.

  2. When are people going to understand that Narcissism is especially toxic to children and those of us who loved them? It’s such a he-said/she-said thing. Yeah they can get caught in lies, but they still seem to get what they think they want. IT”S NEVER ABOUT THE KID’S WELL BEING! It’s about who they can control, be it you or your children. UGH! I am so angry for you!

  3. I am so sorry, it’s so draining to deal with this and then to not get everything you want/need. I am feeling glum going into next week with my court dates. I am likely going to have to pay spousal support. To deal with it I keep thinking it won’t be forever, but after all the abuse, I shouldn’t have to at all. The next day I will do battle to keep the order of protection on me and our son. I am assuming the court will give him back time with our son, I am just hoping it isn’t for over nights. It’s exhausting and depressing. I am just so tired.

  4. Janine,
    It is so exhausting. I hate to admit it, but I caved. I just succumbed to his threats and harassment of our daughters and gave up.
    Being the narcissist/sociopath he is – he knew that by threatening to insist our daughter go to mediation, cutting off our daughters medical and auto insurance, telling our daughters I was ruining the family (I think he did that by throwing a coffee table at us), slashing my tires, telling the girls we could all go to Disneyland if your mother would just stop this – his lies are endless.
    I know I possibly lost hundreds of thousands of dollars but my daughters and I were so emotionally devastated – I needed a reprieve.
    Does this process ever feel like you are in the middle of an ocean, treading water with an anchor tied around your leg?
    And he has everyone convinced that he’s such a great guy.
    The quote I just read, “What you do when people can’t see you is your true character.”
    So what . . . .the courts can’t see these people’s lies, threats, manipulation, abuse, intimidation and the children continue to suffer.

  5. The ocean/ anchor is exactly how it feels. Every so often I can reach and get enough breath and strength to carry through another day, but I become exhausted and dragged down again…what a great analogy. I will be looking for that breath and strength this weekend. One court date in a week is enough, I can’t imagine how 2 will feel. Again thanks to Tina for providing the platform for all of us. It’s a crappy group to be in, but the company sure is fine. Thank you Twyla for the reminder that I need to get my strength by focusing on the true casualties: my children.

  6. Tina, I was wondering, does he still have to confirm that he is indeed meeting you for the custody exchange? Seems like if he doesn’t, the old nonsense of not showing up, showing up late etc will start all over again.

  7. Janine- Hang in there. It comes in spurts- ups and downs. The breaks in between are where I try to rest and re-charge. It isn’t easy and draining is the absolute definition of this battle.

  8. Janine- This is the kicker. I have to drive my daughters to his older brother’s house and drop them off for him because at 38 years old, he doesn’t have a driver’s license. They wanted my X father-in-law to pick them up and I refused– this is a man who frequents Thailand for “trysts” with younger women and is known as the “pervert principal”.

    Makes. Me. Ill.

  9. I keep re-reading this, hoping for a different outcome. Or some glimmer of why the about-face. I feel hit in the stomach and it’s not even my kids! I just keep shaking my head. I’m so so sorry, Tina.