Supervised visits. Something that I have fought so hard for. I sat in front of the main office waiting to meet with the Director of the program.
I’ve had a pinwheel of emotions over the past few years– red, orange, yellow, green and blue. Today’s feelings were yellow: peaceful, happy, relieved and filled with gratitude.
The color “red” served me when I needed to fight to protect my daughters. “Pink” comes into play when I need to wear my “mom cape” and “blue” was a feeling that visited however, I didn’t let it stay for long.
I met with “Mindy” (yes, a fake name) who was the program director. It was a simple, homey place where we met, went over policies and discussed the next steps in the process. I felt at ease as she laid out the ground rules– visitation in a public place with many boundaries and limits. She will be with my daughters at all times– not simply observing from a distance. No visits inside homes or other similar situations. No visits near bodies of water– ocean, pools or lakes.
My appointment lasted about an hour and I left with a good feeling. As I walked outside, I heard doves cooing. That is my “sign” that everything is just as it should be. My children will be safe.