I’ve started to get a lot of emails and a lot of comments about my blog. 99.9% are supportive and encouraging. Some are not and some leave me scratching my head in amazement. When I started this blog, I wasn’t really sure of the direction it would take. Some days it was a vent. Some days I was trying to paint a picture of the past or give a glimpse into my current reality. Some days I learned a lot just by sitting down and writing– ya know those “ah ha!” moments that come from reading a journal entry? Sometimes I’ve learned to look at things from another angle which only came to light because of a reader’s comment.
In the past three months, I’ve had 20,000 views on my blog. A lot of the messages I get come from Mother’s Rights Groups or Father’s Rights Groups. Some are pretty extreme. I’ve had emails from men who are angry because they’ve been wronged by the system and they want to poke a finger at me. I’ve had email conversations with some of these individuals and most end in mutual respect and admiration for the others’ plight.
While I admire the passion and dedication that many of these groups have, I think that we all need to step back for a moment and focus on the true goal: the children.
The system is screwed up beyond belief. There is no doubt about it. It’s a fact.
I’ve heard so many stories that break my heart. Parent’s are loosing their children daily at the hands of the courts who are too overwhelmed to really evaluate a situation. Children are being placed in unsafe environments because of case workers who simply don’t care or are so close to retirement that they’ve mentally checked out. I’ve heard stories of corrupt judges, attorneys and cps workers. Then there are the stories that gain national attention such as the Susan Powell case and other stories that are equally horrific yet don’t make the national news. The system failed Susan Powell. The system failed Charlie and Braden Powell. The courts had all of the information about this sick man yet they acted too late.
This isn’t about Father’s Rights and it isn’t about Mother’s Rights. It’s about Children’s Rights. In the 1970’s, when my parents were getting divorce, the courts automatically gave custody to the mother. As time has progressed, the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction in an effort to “be fair” to both parents. The courts are automatically focused on giving 50/50 custody instead of looking at what’s best for the children. This isn’t about the parents and what is fair to them. This should be about the children and what is safe and healthy for them.
Just because a parent gave birth or donated sperm doesn’t mean they are automatically entitled to be in a child’s life. The Family Court System needs an overhaul and it’s going to take a lot of parents to stand up and demand change. Start today by writing your local representatives and demand change— we need to prevent tragedy’s like the Powell case.
Children have the right to play, learn, laugh, love and be loved. They have the right to be safe, nurtured and cared for.
Remember– it’s about the children. Not “our” rights as parents.