My Breaking Point

My Breaking Point

I don’t know how much more I can take or how much more I can subject my children to.   What I wouldn’t give to have the Judge witness what his orders are doing to my daughters.

Today was my X’s visitation with the girls: 10am – 4pm.

It’s such a short window of time but so much can go wrong.

I met him at 10am for his visitation.  I continued on to church at 11am– he said he would bring the girls to church at the same time.  He walked into the service about 20 minutes late and oddly enough, sat right in front of me.  He brought my daughters into the main service instead of placing them in Sunday school which I thought was very odd.  He was putting on a show– the good dad bringing his daughters to church for the world to see.

They girls saw me and came running to where I was sitting with a friend.  The girls clung to me during the entire service and halfway through, I mentioned to my daughter that I needed to leave 15 minutes early for an appointment.  I told her that she could sit with my friend or she could go sit with her dad.  She whispered that she didn’t want to go with her dad– that she wanted to stay with my friend.  I was a bit concerned because she looked worried when we made eye contact.

Close to the end of the service, I told the girls that I needed to leave.  My oldest daughter (age 6) started crying.  She said, “Please, Mom….don’t make me go with him” with a look of terror in her eyes.  I walked her into the church lobby and she said it again, “Please don’t make me go, mom” and she was crying harder by this point.  He was furious and started in on me, “PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome), PAS– this is YOUR doing.  You are causing PAS!!!”.  He had a look of rage in his eyes that scared me.  I asked him to stop over and over.  I begged him to stop doing this in front of the girls.  He wouldn’t stop.

By this point, we were outside in front of the church.  I was trying to explain to my daughter that it was only a few more hours.  He kept interrupting me and yelling over me.  He kept telling her, “This is RIDICULOUS.  Knock it off”.  I kept begging and pleading with him to stop.  He grabbed my youngest daughter and started walking ahead of us in the parking lot.  By this point, my youngest daughter was hysterical also.  He kept yelling at me about PAS and about my blog over his shoulder.  Yelling about how ridiculous this was.  Yelling at all three of us- over and over.   I was trying to hold it together for my girls– I didn’t want them to see me cry because I didn’t want to scare them even more.

He placed both girls in his car and sped out of the parking lot like a madman.  I immediately sent his mother a text message– asking her to please contact him and calm him down.  I was terrified that the girls were so upset and that he was acting so crazy.  I cancelled my plans and went looking for the girls at the park he had mentioned going to.  I drove up and down the street and couldn’t find them anywhere.  I drove 40 minutes back to my house to track them with the GPS phone they carry– I needed the peace of mind that came with knowing where they were.  An amazing friend offered to drive out to the beach and ensure that the girls were safe…to give me peace of mind.

Right now, I sit and wait….they are due back to me in 30 minutes.

I hate this feeling and I hate living this way.

I hate what he is doing to my daughters.

I’ve left a message with my daughter’s therapist because this is more than I can handle on my own.

9 Responses

  1. Thanks, Paula.

    It is insane. We are all going to see my daughter’s therapist today.

    I had the police meet me at the pick-up location last night which further infuriated him. He sent me a slew of crazy text messages (as expected). I have some things in motion to prevent this from happening again. Obviously, I can’t talk about it right now but will update soon.

  2. Thank goodness. I wonder how much your blog affects him? I received a letter from my ex’s attorney on Friday demanding that I “cease and desist” from texting and messaging him and his family members lies. (No lies, just dark truths.) Plus, the letter ordered me to take down web content I have ( and to hand over a domain name that seems to misrepresent his business. The ex is speaking through his lawyer and threatening a suti if I don’t do as the letter “demands.” I laughed at the letter. First, I write fiction. It’s not my fault the ex identifies with the story. Second, I own the domain and the site. If he wants the domain, I told him I’d gladly sell it to him. And Third, if he wants to pursue a suit, he is burdened with proving everything I shared with his family is a lie. Such a slime ball! They are slime balls with zero respect for anyone or anything. All they want to do is keep their lies hidden. It sickens me. I will be following your story. I hope your plans work for you. 🙂

  3. It sounds terrible to say, but I’m certain he knew thats what would happen. He wanted to be able to accuse you of PAS where people might be able to witness it. He knew your daughter would rather be with you, and would probably cry when you parted ways. He looks like the good dad, taking them to church, and you look like the terrible mom because your made your daughter meltdown. He doesn’t care about your girls in any way other than they are another way he can control you.

    They are the last connection you have with him, and he is going to show you that he WILL control it.
    Yes, it is bad for your daughters. You see know this, becasue you care about your girls. However, your reaction is all he cares about.

    Maybe you could consider a church member or someone the girls trust to do the physical pick up and drop off in order to remove you even further from the equation?

    In my experience, the less contact, the better.

    Good luck to you.

  4. If that was his plan, it backfired in a huge way. Now there are witnesses who saw that my daughters were scared to leave with him. There are individuals willing to testify on our behalf. He showed his true colors and people saw this.

  5. This post is mis-titled. It wasn’t your breaking point, but his. I’m relieved there were witnesses. I know you’re doing everything you can to repair the damage, and getting them to their therapist is definitely the right thing to do. You are continuing to fight for your children’s best interest. You have not broken at all. Just endured another trying round.

  6. It was my breaking point in many ways. I am done allowing this. I will fight harder to stop his next visit which is what I am in the process of doing.

    I have followed every single order handed to me by the courts– every single one. Now I feel like the safety of my daughters is greatly in question as I see him spiral out of control– more so then ever before. As a mother, I can not send my daughters back into this situation. I am turning to the media, my local representatives and anyone else who has the power to help us.

  7. Wow. I feel like i go threw the same thing. its getting a bitt better . but not so much. my daughter is only 2 1/2 years old. she will be 3 in march. our vistion with her dads are every other weeken saturday 9-7 & sunday 9-7. but as soon as she turns 3 its .over night stay! friday & saturday and then Sunday she comes home at 6pm!. my daughter crys. and crys and tell me she doesnt want to go to her dads house. and she crys. and crys and says she doenst want to go. i even mention to her father that she is not likeing this. and she is crying. but he said when she gets to hes house that she is fine. but when she comes home . she tells me she wants to stay here with me and her sister forever and ever! it breaks my heart. and i cant imgaine when she starst staying over the night with him! and top of all im in contempt because i wasnt following the judge rules!

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